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[az_shrimp_horny]

[She wasn't going to do this... she really wasn't going to be that guy... but her talk with Aziraphale last night had worried her. If he was cracking under pressure or whatever the fuck that was she can't just leave all the newbies in the lurch.

What the fuck is wrong with her? She actually cares?! Fuck! It's okay. Just remember what Aziraphale said about teaching and leading and shit. But if she's gonna do this for real she's gonna do it her way.

So she sat on her couch in front of a plain white wall, nothing fancy. A framed candid photo of her and Rosabella hangs off to her right. Dressed in a comfy plaid shirt, she gives the mirror a lop sided smile before she begins to speak.]

Hey everyone, I'm Eleanor and I don't usually do this so I'm just gonna get straight to the point:

Alright, so, here's the deal. I'm not gonna sugar coat this for you - this place isn't the best. Some parts of it downright suck. But it doesn't have to completely suck. I know all you newbies are probably getting sick of hearing about everything. There's a loooooot of info. Take it from someone who hates reading anything longer than a couple'a pages, I getcha. So here are some cliffnotes:

-You can get some food for free at places in town - it's good shit, too. That'll help til you get a job or someone to freeload off of.
-The Emporium has everything you might need - ask for me or Michael, we'll help hook you up.
-Right now everything is fucking haunted. Don't fuck with the ghosts or they'll fuck with you... I speak from experience.
-Watch out on the full moon. Anyone who's a monster class starts looking and acting pretty wiggy. And... don't take it personally, they can't help it. On the new moon it's the exact opposite, so be nice.
-Don't do any missions til you've at least tried to do magic... they suck ass if you don't know what you're doing. During my first mission, one guy blew up one of our tents and made the other one invisible. Seriously. You try finding an invisible tent in the dark. It's not fun.

[No offense, Doctor. It was the best example she could think of...

She sighs, raking her hair back from her face. Realizing how she must sound, her smile turns a little apologetic.]

Listen... I know it's a lot. Trust me. I didn't believe a single word of it until I saw the corroded with my own eyes and actually did magic for the first time. But you're not alone. If you want help with magic and shit you can go talk to Aziraphale if he's around. He's one of the good guys and super easy to talk to. But you can also come talk to me. I've been helping with training, but I've also been giving a lot of advice lately. So I'm gonna put out a blanket offer to everyone, no matter how long you've been here:

If you need someone to train with, talk to, hang out with, bitch at or whatever, I'm your girl. I work at the Emporium, but hit me up through the mirror any time. I'll buy the first round of drinks. Booze, tea, coffee, milk and cookies, a thimble of something, whatever.

[She pauses, biting her lip]

Uuuuhhh yeah that's about it. [Another pause] Fuck, I don't know how to end this without sounding either really lame or super awkward... except now I just made it awkward by saying that. [She facepalms] Just... bye. Okay? Bye.

Comments

[bigbadrose]

What did you do to the ghosts?

And be nice to the Doctor! His magic is literally chaos! It's hard to control!

[Stage whispered:] Should we really be sending people to Aziraphale?

[az_shrimp_horny]

Apparently they didn't like me swearing at them...

[They got a little offended...]

I know, I know. I'm not still mad about it or anything, but it is a pretty good example, you gotta admit.

[Eleanor doesn't want to talk about Aziraphale where anyone could hear them. She looks concerned for a moment before forcing a smile.]

Hey, you know what? We haven't hung out in a while. We should get together somewhere. Like... now?

[bigbadrose]

I mean, it could happen to anyone, but yeah, I guess my first examples of disasters are him doing something daft too.

[Nods!] You at work?

[enhancomancer]

[Dramatic :O face!] You said some really bad words! The Adult Conspiracy is going to get you in soooooooo much trouble!

Oh wait! Are you a Curse fiend?

[az_shrimp_horny]

[Shit. Children. She didn't think about that. FUCK!]

A what?

[enhancomancer]

They use the forbidden words as their collective magic! Together they can change the whole landscape through the power of curses!

And otherwise they just like to put on plays. They're really good! I watch them sometimes on the Magic Tapestry, but Esk said the best parts aren't the visuals.

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[king_of_egypt]

[It's a valiant effort on Eleanor's part even though it isn't hard to tell that she feels uncomfortable delivering it. ]

I wonder... if we couldn't combine what both you and Aziraphale have suggested and compile it into some sort of list so that for the next time it will be easier to deliver the information. Well- leaving out some of the portions that are unique to this season that is.

If only these were video cameras instead of magic infused mirrors then we could just record it and play the file back later. [As if Atem has ever used a video camera. There was a video phone once but Joey was the one that made the call.]

[az_shrimp_horny]

[She's cool most of the time... The rest of the time she's super awkward. This is just one of those times. But she tried! ]

Some of it's in the manual but yeah... It'd be nice to not have to have someone do this every time new people show up.

[king_of_egypt]

[He's seen evidence of that since she seemed cool as a cucumber at the dragon party]

Indeed. For what it's worth I do think you touched upon some important subjects, and gave it your best. I hope it will reach the people who could benefit the most from it.

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[funnylittleclown]

That was a perfectly innocent mistake! And the invisible tent worked out... Once you found it.

[az_shrimp_horny]

[She laughs.]

Sorry, Doctor. At least I didn't say who did it. It was the best example I could think of. Don't feel bad, we've all done some weird shit.

[funnylittleclown]

I don't feel bad, not in the least!

[ Not about the tent thing, that was sort of funny since it had all worked out. ]

The mission might have had some rough spots but we did get everyone back safely. That is what really matters.

[takeitsleazy]

That was good, Eleanor. And I don't just mean you did a good job, I mean - that was good. Chidi'd be proud of you.

[shit. should he even be reminding her of Chidi right now? did he just shoot himself in the foot? he's not sure it matters. it's probably something she needed to hear, regardless]

[az_shrimp_horny]

[She smiles warmly. It really did mean a lot. It made her feel better about how awkward she'd been.]

Thanks, Michael. Really. That means a hell of a lot.

[takeitsleazy]

Thought it might need to be said, yeah. ... By the way, what were you screaming about the other night? Was it another ghost?

[princess_weia]

I don't think it was awkward.

And I do think that this was a good idea. Coming here is really weird and there's a lot of new stuff you knave to learn so having the important stuff all together like this is really nice.

[az_shrimp_horny]

[Shit. More kids? She should really get better at watching her language...]

Hey thanks, kiddo. I'm glad to help.

[princess_weia]

[Probably wouldn't hurt, yes.]

Are you going to do this every time new people get brought in, do you think?

[strangeandunusual]

This was a good idea. Maybe we could all take turns doing something like this when new people show up? Then it won't be up to just one person, and some people won't feel like they have to have "office hours" and might be able to relax a little.

[have a knowing smile]

[az_shrimp_horny]

[She returns that smile.]

Yeah that's not a bad idea. Never thought I'd be part of a welcoming committee, but it's not like everyone gets everything they need from the three amigos.

[strangeandunusual]

[she isn't Aziraphale's biggest fan, but she doesn't hate him, either. she just hates his aloofness]

Yeah, they kind of have enough to worry about until we're strong enough to really help them do more. I wonder if there's a pattern to when the mirror opens ... I can ask Dreamfinder, and then we can start figuring out like, maybe a week ahead of time who's going to do the welcome thing? Or we could bring it up at the next training?

[blue_ice]

...noted. Thanks for actually making sense. Not that I need charity, but...it's good to know.

[az_shrimp_horny]

Hey, you're welcome. I try not to think of it as charity. It's a reward or a thanks for the shit we've gotta do for them.

audio;

[thekingofgames]

Hi Eleanor! Thanks for taking the time to talk to us.

So quick question: is there anywhere we can practice our, uh, "magic" before we go on missions? I haven't really... "weiled" magic before... "weld?"...

( He trails off for a sec before getting back on track. )

Oh - I'm being rude, sorry, I'm Yugi!

[az_shrimp_horny]

[Fuck... another kid? Tough to tell.]

Hey Yugi, nice to meet you. Yeah, there's a courtyard that's good for magic training. I've never had magic before, either, so it's good to try it out. If you'd like I can meet you there sometime and give you a hand.

[Since she's already put herself out there, might as well go all in with the training offer.]