Black Cat Heart Attack

[isthatacactus]

[it is 4 am, but she has a question. She has spent a while trying to get the answer on her own but to no avail. And so...]

Hi there!

I bought everything.

[she holds up all the available black cat items]

What does that mean?

Comments

[enhancomancer]

I don't understand either.

[isthatacactus]

My new upgrades are very confusing.

[she doesn't think the patch is working well]

I also don't want to let go of it, even if my arms are suffering fatigue and will soon drop everything anyway.

[enhancomancer]

Oh! It must be that mundane magic! Shop until you drop! Oh no!! Do you need help?

[isthatacactus]

I know that is a metaphor, but I do feel like dropping. Myself. Not these things.

How would you like to help?

[enhancomancer]

Maybe I can make them lighter and less draining? I've never done this magic before, but all it takes is positive thinking, so let me try! And I can make you extra stronger and resilient until you figure out where to put them. Oh! But you don't have your void to put them in! Is a closet okay?

Voice only

[takeitsleazy]

[the fact that he is still monstery is the only thing keeping him from turning on the video. he is currently on watch at their campsite, sitting on a log, which means his knees are up by his head and holding the mirror is just not fun. thanks, full moon, he hates it]

Oh, Janet. I think it means that you had an instance of FOMO. It's alright. When I get back I can show you how to return anything you don't want to keep.

[isthatacactus]

I don't want to return anything. It's mine. You can't have it. [said cheerfully] That's an interesting experience.

[takeitsleazy]

Humans are a lot more possessive of things. So... those upgrades to your programming made you feel like you needed to not miss anything special, but now that it's all yours, you don't want to part with any of it, even though you don't need all of it.

[he gives a little chuckle]

It doesn't make any sense, but that's part of what makes it a human thing to do. The thing is... Now that you know, you can choose not to buy everything the next time something like this happens. Mistakes are humans' reboots. Every time we make one we gain another skill or get better at one.

[isthatacactus]

I do not require the upgrades to make me human. I don't understand how it can help.

[it doesn't seem to be helping]

I will buy everything the next time, because I am not human.

[in fact, she might buy more]

[takeitsleazy]

I know you don't, but ... [they're there anyway. at least a couple. same as him. and it's a real pain. he's going to have to Talk To Someone about this]

You're going to need money for that, Janet. Just sayin'. Why do you want to buy everything the next time, too, without even knowing what 'everything' is going to be? Seems a little silly.

video

[woo_oo]

So... why did you buy it?

video

[isthatacactus]

I don't know. [she looks at it] It was there and I was there and now it's mine.

video

[woo_oo]

Huh. Okay then.

Well, now you can change outfits whenever you want, that can be fun!

video

[isthatacactus]

I can do that anyway. [bing! a new outfit appears over her old one. And what it is is predictable enough. She lets out a small keening wine as tear slips down her face and then smiles]

Easy peasy.

video

[woo_oo]

[Why is it always cacti?!]

Oh. Maybe... you can give them to your friends!

Video

[az_shrimp_horny]

Uuhhhh I wouldn't have pegged you as a cat person, Janet...

Video

[isthatacactus]

I am not a cat person, either literally nor metaphorically. I have no thoughts on cats. Would you like one? [bing! Have a catcus hat on your head and she sobs brokenly for a second.]

[az_shrimp_horny]

[She gasps in surprise at her sudden head gear.]

Damn, girl, you've got some range!

[But that's not important.]

Janet... Just because they advertise shit doesn't mean you have to buy it.

[isthatacactus]

Thank you! I have no idea what you mean.

[she glances down at her things]

But they were there. And it said buy now! For a limited time. I don't like limited time. So I bought them. They are mine now.

[az_shrimp_horny]

[She sighs, wiping a hand down her face.]

Janet... It just means that the time those things are available to buy is limited. Not that time itself is limited. You... Wait have you been holding them since you bought them?

Voice, since it's so late

[king_of_egypt]

... You have a weakness for black cats?

[Not really sure where she was going with this, nor why she felt the need to ask]

[isthatacactus]

I have no preference for cats or animals of any kind. Nor clothes. Nor buckets. Nor comforting toys.

[king_of_egypt]

Okay..... so why did you purchase all those items in the first place?

[isthatacactus]

[she glances at them, glances at him]

They were there. [another glance down and up] I was compelled.

[king_of_egypt]

I see. So it's not animals that you have an affinity for, but shopping.

[Hopefully, she still had enough to live off of....]

Haven't you ever been able to purchase items in the past? [Maybe this was a new scenario for her]