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[az_shrimp_horny]

[Okay. So Aziraphale's message was... less than helpful... and there are a lot of newbies this time around. So Eleanor decides to have another crack at a greeting to all of them.

So she sat on her couch in front of a plain white wall, nothing fancy. A framed candid photo of her and Rosabella hangs off to her right, below it is a picture of Mrs. Brisby. Dressed in a comfy plaid shirt, she gives the mirror a lop sided smile before she begins to speak.]

Hey everyone, I'm Eleanor and I'm just gonna get straight to the point:

Here's the deal. I'm not gonna sugar coat this for you - Things aren't the greatest right now. The townies hate us, which is just making everything a little harder. We're doing our best, but we've gotta work harder if we're going to win back their trust. I know all you newbies are probably getting sick of hearing about everything. There's a loooooot of info. Take it from someone who used to reading, uh, anything So here are some cliffnotes:

-You can get some food for free at places in town - it's good shit, too. That'll help til you get a job or someone to freeload off of.
-The Emporium has everything you might need - ask for me or Michael, we'll help hook you up.
-I'm sure you've already noticed, but the full moon makes things weird around here. Anyone who's a monster class starts looking and acting pretty wiggy. And... don't take it personally, they can't help it. On the new moon it's the exact opposite, so be nice.
-Most importantly: don't do any missions til you've at least tried to do magic... they suck ass if you don't know what you're doing. During my first mission, one guy blew up one of our tents and made the other one invisible. Seriously. You try finding an invisible tent in the dark. It's not fun.

[She gives the mirror a reassuring smile.]

Listen... I know it's a lot. Trust me. I didn't believe a single word of it until I saw the corroded with my own eyes and actually did magic for the first time. But you're not alone. If you want help with magic and shit there are a lot of us around you can talk to. Also, I'm gonna put out the same blanket offer I did a while ago. No matter how long you've been here, If you need someone to train with, talk to, hang out with, bitch at or whatever, I'm your girl. I work at the Emporium, but hit me up through the mirror any time. I'll buy the first round of drinks. Booze, tea, coffee, milk and cookies, a thimble of something, whatever.

[She pauses, biting her lip]

Uuuuhhh yeah that's about it. [Another pause] Fuck, I don't know how to end this without sounding either really lame or super awkward... except now I just made it awkward by saying that. [She facepalms] Just... bye. Okay? Bye.

Comments

/Permalock

[az_shrimp_horny]

Whoa, Eddie has a new roomie? Yikes. I'm lucky I asked Mikey to move in right before the shit hit the fan. I don't think I could take another new roomie already.

[She smiles]

But sure! Let's do it up!

[trashylittlesecret]

Yeah, and from the sounds of it she's a doozy. ... No one's ever gonna replace Briz, I gotta agree with you there. I miss her already.

Wanna go take a look at the board and maybe grab a snack? I'm munchy.

[az_shrimp_horny]

Me, too, bud. But yeah! You wanna meet outside?

[trashylittlesecret]

Catch you on the flip side.

[true to his word, he leaves Eddie to whatever Eddie thing he was doing, and heads down to the lobby, hands scrunched in the pockets of his jacket, rocking back and forth as he waits for her to arrive]

[az_shrimp_horny]

[It wasn't long before Eleanor stepped into the lobby and smiled, waving at him.]

Hey, bud, how's it hangin'?

[trashylittlesecret]

Little to the left today. I'd say you didn't need to know, but you asked. [he shrugged before going in for the hug]

How's cohabitating going, so far?

[az_shrimp_horny]

I brought it on myself.

[She laughed, happily returning that hug.]

It's good! Weird... but good. How are things with you?

[trashylittlesecret]

Just plain weird. ... [he breathes in] I came out to him. On, uh, April Fool's Day. Seemed appropriate given what the place did.

[az_shrimp_horny]

[Eleanor's eyes widen and she claps her hands over her mouth as she gasps.]

Holy fuck seriously?! How'd it go! I wanna know everything!

[trashylittlesecret]

Welllll, first of all I woke up in Glinda's bright pink ball gown. No exaggeration, it actually was. And I had the hair and the voice to fucking boot. [he smirked, waiting patiently for her to laugh her ass off, as he knew she would. he was cool with it. it really had been hilarious in hindsight, as most things usually were]

But he ... he told me he thought I was really funny, and I made some crack about busking like that and singing Every Sperm Is Sacred - and I - well. You and Sylvando and Aziraphale and Briz ... you all got me so comfortable with myself that I wasn't even thinking about how fabulous I was being until I said that, and ... I realized that I needed to just ... put the cards on the table. So we went to the Cafe for breakfast. I figured that way I could at least say I paid for the food if things went south.

[az_shrimp_horny]

Waaaaaaaaaaaitwaitwaitwaitholdup. [She held up a hand to stop him, trying to picture him as Glinda.

Yup. Laughing her ass off.

It's a good minute before she pulls herself together, coughing and clearing her throat as she gestures for him to continue.]

Dude, that sounds great so far! So what happened?!

[trashylittlesecret]

Well ... [he scrunched up his face a little as he thought about it. somehow concentrating on things always made him look bitchy. maybe being gay really was genetic.]

I told him I was gay, and he was just like - 'okay, and?!' He said it didn't change anything. I .... I couldn't believe it, I was convinced it was gonna go for shit, you know?

[of course she knew. how many meltdowns had he had about it?!]

But I told him about everything with Bowers, and the stupid statue, and - and -

[he takes a deep breath, still not sure in some small part of his brain that it was real, even now]

- and then we ate pancakes like I'd told him the sun was out, instead of, you know. Me.

[az_shrimp_horny]

[As she listened, her smile grew wider and brighter. She was more than pleased that it went so well. This was huge. Bigger than huge. Enormous. And it meant that Richie didn't need to hide himself anymore. She turned and hopped up, wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight hug.]

I'm so happy for you, Richie. Seriously. That is the best thing I've heard all fucking week!

[trashylittlesecret]

GAA-AAH.

[he hadn't been expecting a Trashbag Necklace as a fashion accessory that day, but he managed to catch her by the waist and take most of her weight that way before she snapped his neck like a pine twig]

Thanks. ... You know I wouldn't have even tried if you hadn't told me, y'know, way back in the day, that nobody would give a shit.

[az_shrimp_horny]

[Are you implying she's fat, asshole? She gave him another squeeze before releasing him.]

Seriously? Oh c'mon, I don't believe that for a second. I mean, I gave you a nudge but you woulda gotten there eventually.

[trashylittlesecret]

[no he's implying that if you put your arms around his neck you've probably gotta reach, shorty]

Yeah, sure, be fuckin' humble and make me look like an egomaniac, nice. [he rolled his eyes]

If we get a choice once we get to that board, you feeling more like tramping around in a haunted house, or around swampy rivers and shit? The haunted house is actually pretty tolerable. Then again, I'm kind of a veteran of those now, what the fuck...

[az_shrimp_horny]

[That just makes you a weakling.

She laughs.]

I mean I had to give it a shot. I won't deny that I'm pretty fucking amazing. But I'm happy for you! That's the best news.

[When he gave her her choices she mulled them over, wrinkling her nose.]

As much as having water around makes it easier for me to do some magic, I think I'm good without bitching up my shoes in a swamp today. So I'm up for a haunted house of you are.

[trashylittlesecret]

Arright! Now let's hope someone hasn't sniped all the good ones where you don't need two other people to herd around like cats.

[az_shrimp_horny]

No cat herding, here! Lead on, Trashmouth!