Video

[az_shrimp_horny]

[Okay. So Aziraphale's message was... less than helpful... and there are a lot of newbies this time around. So Eleanor decides to have another crack at a greeting to all of them.

So she sat on her couch in front of a plain white wall, nothing fancy. A framed candid photo of her and Rosabella hangs off to her right, below it is a picture of Mrs. Brisby. Dressed in a comfy plaid shirt, she gives the mirror a lop sided smile before she begins to speak.]

Hey everyone, I'm Eleanor and I'm just gonna get straight to the point:

Here's the deal. I'm not gonna sugar coat this for you - Things aren't the greatest right now. The townies hate us, which is just making everything a little harder. We're doing our best, but we've gotta work harder if we're going to win back their trust. I know all you newbies are probably getting sick of hearing about everything. There's a loooooot of info. Take it from someone who used to reading, uh, anything So here are some cliffnotes:

-You can get some food for free at places in town - it's good shit, too. That'll help til you get a job or someone to freeload off of.
-The Emporium has everything you might need - ask for me or Michael, we'll help hook you up.
-I'm sure you've already noticed, but the full moon makes things weird around here. Anyone who's a monster class starts looking and acting pretty wiggy. And... don't take it personally, they can't help it. On the new moon it's the exact opposite, so be nice.
-Most importantly: don't do any missions til you've at least tried to do magic... they suck ass if you don't know what you're doing. During my first mission, one guy blew up one of our tents and made the other one invisible. Seriously. You try finding an invisible tent in the dark. It's not fun.

[She gives the mirror a reassuring smile.]

Listen... I know it's a lot. Trust me. I didn't believe a single word of it until I saw the corroded with my own eyes and actually did magic for the first time. But you're not alone. If you want help with magic and shit there are a lot of us around you can talk to. Also, I'm gonna put out the same blanket offer I did a while ago. No matter how long you've been here, If you need someone to train with, talk to, hang out with, bitch at or whatever, I'm your girl. I work at the Emporium, but hit me up through the mirror any time. I'll buy the first round of drinks. Booze, tea, coffee, milk and cookies, a thimble of something, whatever.

[She pauses, biting her lip]

Uuuuhhh yeah that's about it. [Another pause] Fuck, I don't know how to end this without sounding either really lame or super awkward... except now I just made it awkward by saying that. [She facepalms] Just... bye. Okay? Bye.

Comments

[trashylittlesecret]

[no he's implying that if you put your arms around his neck you've probably gotta reach, shorty]

Yeah, sure, be fuckin' humble and make me look like an egomaniac, nice. [he rolled his eyes]

If we get a choice once we get to that board, you feeling more like tramping around in a haunted house, or around swampy rivers and shit? The haunted house is actually pretty tolerable. Then again, I'm kind of a veteran of those now, what the fuck...

[az_shrimp_horny]

[That just makes you a weakling.

She laughs.]

I mean I had to give it a shot. I won't deny that I'm pretty fucking amazing. But I'm happy for you! That's the best news.

[When he gave her her choices she mulled them over, wrinkling her nose.]

As much as having water around makes it easier for me to do some magic, I think I'm good without bitching up my shoes in a swamp today. So I'm up for a haunted house of you are.

[trashylittlesecret]

Arright! Now let's hope someone hasn't sniped all the good ones where you don't need two other people to herd around like cats.

[az_shrimp_horny]

No cat herding, here! Lead on, Trashmouth!