WHADDUP TURDS! (CW: language)

[electricdynamo]

[A video feed crackles to life, showing a young woman with red hair and a severe case of argyria. For a moment, she looks like she's mock-preening, making a smoochy face and brushing some hair behind an ear. Then she gives what can only be described as a nasty grin, though there isn't anything inherently awful about it; it's just very wide and confident. Perhaps it's the pointy eyebrows.]

Well, well, well, get a load'a this place, huh? WILD. Never had anyone just hand over a whole-ass apartment rent free before! Little constricting, though. I'm more of a secret-underground-lair kinda gal.

ANYWAY, name's Livewire, sure am glad t'be here! Whoever ganked me got me out of one hell of a shit cake, let me tell you! I mean, who knew INTERPOL were such sticklers, am I right?

[She flops on the bed with her shoes on and toasts the camera with her free bottle of liquor.]

So, dicks, I'm told I'm a Monster, which, y'know - HA! - no surprise, there!

[Then her expression drops and she looks serious and thoughtful.]

But gosh darn it, it seems I ain't in Kansas anymore. You don't know me. So who's makin' this unkind-but-I'll-be-honest-completely-accurate assessment?

Comments

[phoenixwiz]

Oh, um, hi stranger. That is a, erm, colorful way to put it. The apartment is designated for us Apprentices to live in after all.

Anyway, I’m Harry and I’m one of the Apprentices here. I’ve been in the Kingdoms since last September. Did you ask either Merlin or Hades for the class assessment of yours?

[electricdynamo]

Well hell-o, four-eyes! Colorful, huh? I like that, life is so boring in black and white.

And you bet I have, kiddo, haven't you been listening?

[She leans in close and whispers harshly]

I'm the thing that goes bump in the night.

[GRIN]

[phoenixwiz]

(Harry is a little annoyed by the four eyes labels, but he’s trying not to lose his sanity right. And she is being actually funny too.)

Hmmm, nice to hear that, Livewire. I’m a Hero Apprentice, that means I fight as a leader or on my own and I have my eyes on the goal at hand. I have a weapon to fight and cast spells with.

[electricdynamo]

[She narrows her eyes when he mentions he's a hero]

That so.

[Then she smiles in a way that suggests daggers.]

Sounds a little rehearsed, pal. You take a Buzzfeed quiz to find that out?

[phoenixwiz]

No, it wasn’t rehearsed at all, Merlin told me of my class when I came here in a class assessment.

But what’s a Buzzfeed? (Sorry LW, but this guy came from a time when the Internet was still young and relied on phone dial up, and he was in a magic school most of the time.)

[electricdynamo]

[She just stares incredulously for a few moments, realizing her joke's gone completely over the boy's head]

Wow, kid. It's a uh...Internet thing.

[phoenixwiz]

Sorry if I wasn’t able to get the joke right away, I’m just not that into technology in my world and study in a magic school most of the time.

[electricdynamo]

[She looks bored, and pretends to examine her nails]

Mm-hm, wow, cool.

[Then she glances up with just her eyes, head still angled downward]

Seems we're all studying in a magic school, now, ain't we.

[phoenixwiz]

Hmmm, I see, it is in some way similar to my old school, except that my professors didn’t send me and my schoolmates on Missions to clear the Corrosion away.

[electricdynamo]

[She rolls her eyes with a look of disgust]

I don't do missions. That's for self-important pricks who think they've got a bigger purpose.

[phoenixwiz]

(Okay, that one really peeved him off, though it is not as bad as his experience with Mal during the Bubbles event.)

Well, you will have to get to used to doing it with other people in the Kingdoms real soon, whether anyone likes it or not. But our hosts did told us that we can’t be forced to do them if that’s not our thing. You can always lounge around in Main Street while everyone else is tackling the Corrosion somewhere else.

(Eh, he is pretty sure that maybe Livewire could find other ways to do something for the Kingdoms if she hates taking Missions in the first place.)

[electricdynamo]

Mmm. Lounge around on Main Street while everyone else is...somewhere else, huh? Sounds promising.

[phoenixwiz]

(Cue eye roll and a look of dismay)

It’s your choice, not mine. I don’t make the rules of this world, I’m just an Apprentice just like you.

[electricdynamo]

Yeah, sure baby, I'll see you on the flip side. This could be fun.