2 // Temptation - Video // Late Evening

[serpentinthegarden]

[ The Liberty Inn was playing host to a very, very drunk demon. It had been days since the 'incident' and Aziraphale was apparently doing well... hiding out in the castle and training for the big mission. Crowley was not, neither training or doing well. He slammed the empty bottle back onto the table, knocking the little mirror open as he did so. ]

Just shouldn't have said anything at all... should have enjoyed it while it lasted...

[ He took a long swig from a freshly opened bottle. ]

It's not even like it matters here! It's been over a week! There's no end of the world, no Armageddon... No armies of Heaven or of Hell...

We could do anyth--... literally anything and no one would be around to check up...

[The bartender came around to clean up some of the empty wine bottles and his arm was clung to.]

I can't help that I'm a demon. I can't... it just happened. One day I was creating stars and the next... doing the backstroke in a pool of lava... 

[The poor bartender managed to pull his arm free and finding himself alone and depressed Crowley sighed into his bottle of alcohol..]

Demons don't care, don't love... shouldn't, so why does it hurt so much that he left... 

Comments

[serpentinthegarden]

I'm not getting all hot and bothered over an angel.

[ He grumbling with a very long and slow drink of his brew. By now he was thoroughly drunk though and alcohol did make him more talkative about things he really oughtn't be. ]

I'd like to be.

[ Very hot and very bothered... it just wasn't possible. ]

Humans just don't understand. Angels are good, pure, unco-- uncor--... God's chosen ones an' Demons are the opposite. We're evil, unforgivable, cast outs... Humans have the choice to be either one, or both... You can just decide to be both! There isn't any middle ground with my lot.

[ And that wonderful alcohol loosening lips again. ]

I've been trying to do good... just doesn't work out.

[az_shrimp_horny]

But why not?!

[Eleanor took a big swig from her drink and plunked it down, turning to face him more fully.]

Who the fuck cares about the rules if they're stupid and need to change? We're breaking the mother fucking mold over in my world. I say you should tell the powers that be to sit and spin and go rogue. Be good if that's what you want!

[She paused, thinking for a moment. The booze was definitely fogging her brain. She tried to find some kind of moral argument but they kept escaping her. Finally she added]

You gotta fight for what you really want. Are you willing to fight for your angel?

[serpentinthegarden]

This is the part you humans always do have trouble understanding. It was the same way with Rose. I am breaking the rules! Like... every single rule. I'm the master of breaking the rules! I'm sitting here in a bar, talking to a dead human girl, about the angel I would like to kiss again... how I'd even tried to do 'good deeds' just to fit in and make that possible, you can't do worst than that. You just can't. Not if you are a demon. If I were ever caught doing ANY of this my people would come up with a punishment for me that would make Micheal's retirement look like an afternoon picnic.

It just isn't enough. At the end of the day I'm still a demon, still inclined to do evil... it comes more naturally to me than good... and he can't associate with that.

[ He sank into his glass like he could drown in it as he settled in to break yet another diabolical rule, worrying about another more than yourself. ]

It isn't about what I want it's about what he wants. I can't force him to forget I'm a demon.

[az_shrimp_horny]

No, no, no. I get that! I get the [She makes a face and does a poor drunken imitation of him.] There are rules and you just can't break them thing. But none of that fucking matters here! I mean c'mon! Back home I was about to talk to some almighty judge to find out if I'd done enough to get a free pass to the Good Place. But the points don't mean shit here!

[She leans a little closer, pointing a finger at him.]

Speaking of points. My point is that your bosses aren't here. There's nothing stopping you from getting a little angelic booty. Why are you still worried about the rules when there's no one here to enforce 'em?

And, and. Aaaaaaad how do you know he doesn't want it? Did you ask? Huh?

[Says the girl who avoided talking to Chidi about the little filmed confession as long as she could. Pot meet kettle. How's it going?]

[serpentinthegarden]

The part you aren't getting is that I'm not the one saying that, it's Aziraphale.

And I know he doesn't want it because he ran off! Barely even said bye, told me he was going for a walk and then... he was gone. He hasn't been back to our hotel room since. I don't even know where he is!

Even some demons would take that as a hint!

[az_shrimp_horny]

Dude I get it. You're talking to someone who's sneaked... snuck? whatever. Who's run off on a la-hot of guys for whatever reason. It doesn't mean he's not interested! You said yourself that he wasn't himself when he kissed you, right? Give him some space. He's pro'ly freaking out just as much as you are.

[serpentinthegarden]

I'm not freaking out!

[ He stared into his very nearly empty glass. ]

I'm trying... to get absolutely hammered!

[az_shrimp_horny]

An' you're doing a great job of that.

[She downs most of wha'ts left of her own drink.]

What're you gonna do when you get there?

[serpentinthegarden]

I don't know... Usually I would just sober up again. I used to be able to do that.

Now, I guess I will have to sleep it off. That's what you humans do... sleep it off and hide from all loud noises in the morning.

[az_shrimp_horny]

Shhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiit that's right. Hangovers are a thing here.

[Whoops. Oh well. She's made her bed, now she's just gonna hide with a pillow over her head in it.]

Yyyyup. Either that or find someone else to sleep it off with. [She holds up a hand.] Not an offer, by the way. I mean, you are smoking hot... which I realize might mean something else for a demon but I stand by it... but I'm guessing you wouldn't be into that kinda thing 'specially considering our conversation.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ At the compliment Crowley sat up a little straighter, the corner of his mouth teasing a smile. ]

You you sure you're not a demon... that sounds a great deal like a temptation?

[az_shrimp_horny]

[What? She calls 'em like she sees 'em.]

I'm not sure if I should be offended or flattered. Though I have been known to tempt people. I mean... my job before I kicked it was selling fake medicine to people who didn't need it.

[She cocked her head.]

Not too proud of that now, but I was really good at it.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ And his smile grows because... ]

You were a snake oil salesman!

[ It's an interesting irony to him being rather affiliated with serpents himself. ]

Hey, if it is something you are good at take pride in it. It's really their fault for not making sure those medications were real.

[az_shrimp_horny]

[She smirks. Hey, the demon has a nice smile. If he wasn't so hung up on the angel she'd be trying waaaaaaaay harder to flirt with him right now.]

Yeah I guess I was. And you're totally right. I mean, we didn't have proof that if didn't not work.

[Shrug.]

[serpentinthegarden]

Most of those things were only alcoholic anyway and there is nothing like a good drink to help people forget their problems. [ Or sugar pills, which were still harmless enough. Still he was impressed as it sounded something along the lines he might be tempted to do. Impressed enough for his smile to grow even brighter. ]

[az_shrimp_horny]

[That smile makes her smile even more.]

Right?! I swear, Earth would be a whole lot better if more people had a few drinks once in a while and loosened the fuck up!

[serpentinthegarden]

Yeah!

[ Crowley enthusiastically agreed with a light thump of the bar top as the lady's smile was as charming as her devil may care words. ]

People should loosen up more! They are always so worried about this or that... they spoke just do what feels right at the time.

[az_shrimp_horny]

Yes!

[She agreed, equally enthusiastically. It was so nice to talk to someone who agreed so eagerly... And she could look at that smile all night.]

Exactly! Like Chidi, the guy teaching us about ethics. He can't make a decision to save his fucking life! He has to debate all the ethical rules and shit. I had to work some ethical mumbo jumbo to convince him to lie in hell.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ Crowley's nose scrunched to match the low growl. ]

Really... the guy wouldn't even lie in hell? It's expected for everyone to lie in hell! You could get into more trouble by telling the truth down there.

[ Not that lies couldn't still get you into trouble but, that depended on what they were! ]

I think you have mentioned that name before, Chidi, was it? Is he... um...

[ Crowley swayed on his barstool and not from the drink entirely, it was a signal for Eleanor to fill in the blank. ]

[az_shrimp_horny]

Right!

[She makes a face, imitating Chidi's whine.]

I can't lie! It's wrong! Kant says you can't lie!

[Snorting, she drains the rest of her drink, setting the glass down with a solid thunk.]

We had to lie so the demons wouldn't know who we were! We were incog- Inc- pff. In disguise. I managed to talk him into it, though. Barely.

[At the question she frowned, waving a hand in the air between them.]

We're nothing. Friends. Nothing but friends. [sigh.] apparently we were a thing in some of the reboots. But nnnnot this time. Nope.

[serpentinthegarden]

Kant... can't lie? Is that his real name?? It sounds more like the beginning of a limerick!

[ Well, he couldn't help but smirk at the handwave. Finding it oddly nice that she wasn't attached to anyone with a weird name like Chidi. ]

He sounds like a real downer, Chidi. He could have gotten you all into so much trouble if he hadn't been able to bend the rules. He's not an angel is he?

[az_shrimp_horny]

[She giggled, shaking her head.]

No, no. Emanuel Kant, the philosopher. Chidi was a fucking moral philosophy professor before he croaked.

[She looked mournfully into her empty glass.]

Nah. He's not an angel. He'd suck as an angel. Takes him a couple hours and two stomach aches to decide on any moral question.

[serpentinthegarden]

Oh that just might be worse than being an angel! Professors love to hear themselves talk!

[ Her gaze was followed and... why the hell not, the bartender was given the high sign to refill the empty glass. ]

[az_shrimp_horny]

Right? Everyone hates moral philosophy professors!

[You're the best demon, Crowley. The best.]

He droned on and on and ooooooooon and I just wanted to throw something at him.

[serpentinthegarden]

HA! You should have! Just reached out for a tomato or... or an egg! He would never have seen it coming!

[ The higher ups in Hell always seemed to think so! ]