2 // Temptation - Video // Late Evening

[serpentinthegarden]

[ The Liberty Inn was playing host to a very, very drunk demon. It had been days since the 'incident' and Aziraphale was apparently doing well... hiding out in the castle and training for the big mission. Crowley was not, neither training or doing well. He slammed the empty bottle back onto the table, knocking the little mirror open as he did so. ]

Just shouldn't have said anything at all... should have enjoyed it while it lasted...

[ He took a long swig from a freshly opened bottle. ]

It's not even like it matters here! It's been over a week! There's no end of the world, no Armageddon... No armies of Heaven or of Hell...

We could do anyth--... literally anything and no one would be around to check up...

[The bartender came around to clean up some of the empty wine bottles and his arm was clung to.]

I can't help that I'm a demon. I can't... it just happened. One day I was creating stars and the next... doing the backstroke in a pool of lava... 

[The poor bartender managed to pull his arm free and finding himself alone and depressed Crowley sighed into his bottle of alcohol..]

Demons don't care, don't love... shouldn't, so why does it hurt so much that he left... 

Comments

[az_shrimp_horny]

[What? She calls 'em like she sees 'em.]

I'm not sure if I should be offended or flattered. Though I have been known to tempt people. I mean... my job before I kicked it was selling fake medicine to people who didn't need it.

[She cocked her head.]

Not too proud of that now, but I was really good at it.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ And his smile grows because... ]

You were a snake oil salesman!

[ It's an interesting irony to him being rather affiliated with serpents himself. ]

Hey, if it is something you are good at take pride in it. It's really their fault for not making sure those medications were real.

[az_shrimp_horny]

[She smirks. Hey, the demon has a nice smile. If he wasn't so hung up on the angel she'd be trying waaaaaaaay harder to flirt with him right now.]

Yeah I guess I was. And you're totally right. I mean, we didn't have proof that if didn't not work.

[Shrug.]

[serpentinthegarden]

Most of those things were only alcoholic anyway and there is nothing like a good drink to help people forget their problems. [ Or sugar pills, which were still harmless enough. Still he was impressed as it sounded something along the lines he might be tempted to do. Impressed enough for his smile to grow even brighter. ]

[az_shrimp_horny]

[That smile makes her smile even more.]

Right?! I swear, Earth would be a whole lot better if more people had a few drinks once in a while and loosened the fuck up!

[serpentinthegarden]

Yeah!

[ Crowley enthusiastically agreed with a light thump of the bar top as the lady's smile was as charming as her devil may care words. ]

People should loosen up more! They are always so worried about this or that... they spoke just do what feels right at the time.

[az_shrimp_horny]

Yes!

[She agreed, equally enthusiastically. It was so nice to talk to someone who agreed so eagerly... And she could look at that smile all night.]

Exactly! Like Chidi, the guy teaching us about ethics. He can't make a decision to save his fucking life! He has to debate all the ethical rules and shit. I had to work some ethical mumbo jumbo to convince him to lie in hell.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ Crowley's nose scrunched to match the low growl. ]

Really... the guy wouldn't even lie in hell? It's expected for everyone to lie in hell! You could get into more trouble by telling the truth down there.

[ Not that lies couldn't still get you into trouble but, that depended on what they were! ]

I think you have mentioned that name before, Chidi, was it? Is he... um...

[ Crowley swayed on his barstool and not from the drink entirely, it was a signal for Eleanor to fill in the blank. ]

[az_shrimp_horny]

Right!

[She makes a face, imitating Chidi's whine.]

I can't lie! It's wrong! Kant says you can't lie!

[Snorting, she drains the rest of her drink, setting the glass down with a solid thunk.]

We had to lie so the demons wouldn't know who we were! We were incog- Inc- pff. In disguise. I managed to talk him into it, though. Barely.

[At the question she frowned, waving a hand in the air between them.]

We're nothing. Friends. Nothing but friends. [sigh.] apparently we were a thing in some of the reboots. But nnnnot this time. Nope.

[serpentinthegarden]

Kant... can't lie? Is that his real name?? It sounds more like the beginning of a limerick!

[ Well, he couldn't help but smirk at the handwave. Finding it oddly nice that she wasn't attached to anyone with a weird name like Chidi. ]

He sounds like a real downer, Chidi. He could have gotten you all into so much trouble if he hadn't been able to bend the rules. He's not an angel is he?

[az_shrimp_horny]

[She giggled, shaking her head.]

No, no. Emanuel Kant, the philosopher. Chidi was a fucking moral philosophy professor before he croaked.

[She looked mournfully into her empty glass.]

Nah. He's not an angel. He'd suck as an angel. Takes him a couple hours and two stomach aches to decide on any moral question.

[serpentinthegarden]

Oh that just might be worse than being an angel! Professors love to hear themselves talk!

[ Her gaze was followed and... why the hell not, the bartender was given the high sign to refill the empty glass. ]

[az_shrimp_horny]

Right? Everyone hates moral philosophy professors!

[You're the best demon, Crowley. The best.]

He droned on and on and ooooooooon and I just wanted to throw something at him.

[serpentinthegarden]

HA! You should have! Just reached out for a tomato or... or an egg! He would never have seen it coming!

[ The higher ups in Hell always seemed to think so! ]

[az_shrimp_horny]

[She cracked up.]

Oh shit that'd have been good! It'd have been an improvement on the house they stuck me in, too.

[serpentinthegarden]

They put you in a house? Bigger than an apartment... but why am I getting 'Big Brother' vibes?

[ A suspicious eyebrow raise. ]

Was there a Diary Room?

[az_shrimp_horny]

Oh god no, but that'd have been hilarious. But no... It was worse.

[She paused for dramatic effect.]

Clowns. Everywhere. And fugly Icelandic something or other design. It was sooooo bad!

[serpentinthegarden]

Clowns...

[ Crowley's grin broke into a laugh. ]

That's brilliant that is. Diabolical.

[az_shrimp_horny]

[She tries to be grumpy about that. She really does. But the booze isn't making that easy. Neither is the fact that her next drink has arrived. She ends up cracking up, too.]

Right? None of that fucking furniture was comfortable. And the room the bed was in had, get fhi, a sliding door with clowns on either side that played fucking circus music when it closed!

[serpentinthegarden]

[ His hand hit the counter-top with a loud slap this time as he practically doubled over with laughter. ]

No, stop! You're killing me! Circus music in the bedroom!?

[ He teetered forward drunkenly threatening to slide right off the stool he was perched on. ]

That must have made things interesting!

[az_shrimp_horny]

Yeah! Just as it was closing but that place was seriously fucking creepy.

[She cracked up, herself. Though it was followed by a wince.]

Yeah well you're assuming anything happened in there. And as far as I remember nothing did. [She frowned, giving him a thumbs down. ]

[serpentinthegarden]

Nah, you're right. One look at all those clowns would give anyone 'It' vibes.

Real easy though... If you ended up in a house full of clowns to tell you were in the 'Good Place'. It's not exactly subtle.

[az_shrimp_horny]

Yeah 'cept Michael's plan had me believing there was some other Eleanor Shellstrop who did belong there who actually was a good person. Like a humanitarian and shit.

[She took a sip of her drink.]

And the only actual banging going on was two of the other humans there. I got nada. Which shoulda been my first clue, actually...

[serpentinthegarden]

Even humanitarians hate clowns. I think... only clowns like clowns, and maybe mimes. Though I'm pretty sure clowns hate mimes.

[ Did that make any sense? No? Oh well there was more drink here to enjoy. ]

Big, big clue that. I can't imagine anyone passing you by.

[az_shrimp_horny]

Yeah I dunno, I mean we know that Michael kinda sucked at the whole demon thing so who the fuck knows. And yeah, right? What kinda psycho actually likes clowns?

[She waves a dismissive hand, taking a sip of her drink. At the compliment she straightens, smiling and unconsciously sticking her chest out a little.]

Right? A hottie like me? Pfft, you'd have to be an idiot... Or a total egg head.

[You know... Both of the guys she was stuck with. GDI Chidi!]