Video

[az_shrimp_horny]

[Okay. So Aziraphale's message was... less than helpful... and there are a lot of newbies this time around. So Eleanor decides to have another crack at a greeting to all of them.

So she sat on her couch in front of a plain white wall, nothing fancy. A framed candid photo of her and Rosabella hangs off to her right, below it is a picture of Mrs. Brisby. Dressed in a comfy plaid shirt, she gives the mirror a lop sided smile before she begins to speak.]

Hey everyone, I'm Eleanor and I'm just gonna get straight to the point:

Here's the deal. I'm not gonna sugar coat this for you - Things aren't the greatest right now. The townies hate us, which is just making everything a little harder. We're doing our best, but we've gotta work harder if we're going to win back their trust. I know all you newbies are probably getting sick of hearing about everything. There's a loooooot of info. Take it from someone who used to reading, uh, anything So here are some cliffnotes:

-You can get some food for free at places in town - it's good shit, too. That'll help til you get a job or someone to freeload off of.
-The Emporium has everything you might need - ask for me or Michael, we'll help hook you up.
-I'm sure you've already noticed, but the full moon makes things weird around here. Anyone who's a monster class starts looking and acting pretty wiggy. And... don't take it personally, they can't help it. On the new moon it's the exact opposite, so be nice.
-Most importantly: don't do any missions til you've at least tried to do magic... they suck ass if you don't know what you're doing. During my first mission, one guy blew up one of our tents and made the other one invisible. Seriously. You try finding an invisible tent in the dark. It's not fun.

[She gives the mirror a reassuring smile.]

Listen... I know it's a lot. Trust me. I didn't believe a single word of it until I saw the corroded with my own eyes and actually did magic for the first time. But you're not alone. If you want help with magic and shit there are a lot of us around you can talk to. Also, I'm gonna put out the same blanket offer I did a while ago. No matter how long you've been here, If you need someone to train with, talk to, hang out with, bitch at or whatever, I'm your girl. I work at the Emporium, but hit me up through the mirror any time. I'll buy the first round of drinks. Booze, tea, coffee, milk and cookies, a thimble of something, whatever.

[She pauses, biting her lip]

Uuuuhhh yeah that's about it. [Another pause] Fuck, I don't know how to end this without sounding either really lame or super awkward... except now I just made it awkward by saying that. [She facepalms] Just... bye. Okay? Bye.

Comments

[az_shrimp_horny]

[She laughs]

You've got a point, there. Though I could just as easily see them being assholes about it just because they can be.

[She thought about it for a moment, mulling Shadow Weaver's words.]

That makes a lot of sense. And I think the same could probably be said for this place. You have to really visualize what you want and commit to it or things are gonna go wrong.

[weaver_of_lies]

The laws we think eternal torment has and the one it has for us are usually going to be very different.

[And sometimes the real world was torturous enough].

I cannot fathom someone trying to do magic half heartedly. Then again, I am accustomed to novices taking practical applications and reading many texts before they get into the heavier kind of magic people here talk about.

[az_shrimp_horny]

That's... a good way to put it, I think.

[Chidi would appreciate that.]

I think it's mostly that no one knows what they're doing and we've got a lot of people who've never had magic before or just plain don't believe it. I was one of them so I know...

[weaver_of_lies]

Thank you.

It is very unbelievable by some, and something fantastical and to be awed at by others. Really, with the proper focus most of the people here can do it. It's all a matter of perspective.

[az_shrimp_horny]

I can attest to that. I had to be convinced that it even existed, let alone that I could do it. Now I actually help with the training.

[weaver_of_lies]

That is pretty remarkable. What class are you in, if you don't mind me asking?

[az_shrimp_horny]

I'm a fairy. Which is not as lame as it sounds.

[weaver_of_lies]

Why should it be lame at all, Eleanor?

[az_shrimp_horny]

Jesus, is mine the only world where fairies are usually weak and frilly?

[weaver_of_lies]

I don't know if faeries exist in my world, they might. However, magical creatures in general are not to be scoffed at, even the insignificant ones.

[az_shrimp_horny]

I mean... I get what you're saying. But when it's been used as an insult for a looooong time and most of the images of fairies are with frilly, glittery wings and wands? It's hard not to scoff at it.

[weaver_of_lies]

Where I'm from, a skilled wand that can do magic is nothing to scoff at, no matter how glittery the wings are. In fact, that would likely be a reason to be more cautious.

The best thing about looks are how deceiving they are.

[az_shrimp_horny]

Not a bad point. I've deceived many people with my looks over the years, after all. [She laughs]

[weaver_of_lies]

Is that right. And surely for practical purposes, of course.

[az_shrimp_horny]

[Eleanor couldn't help but laugh.] Not a fucking chance. I mean, I could try to be coy and say it was, but I got away with so much shit that it's not even funny.

[weaver_of_lies]

Oh, that was sarcasm. Using what you have to outwit your opposition certainly earns some respect. I know I could not boast the same thing. My time for being aesthetically pleasing has long since come and gone.

[az_shrimp_horny]

Hey, thanks! Usually I just get called a ho or something. But c'mon, how can I not use this to my advantage? It would be a waste!

[weaver_of_lies]

Please. If one will use their advantages in strength at a whim, why should it be any worse to do it aesthetically?

[az_shrimp_horny]

Right?! Thank you! It's so good to talk to someone who actually gets that!

[weaver_of_lies]

It just makes sense. Actions guided by purpose achieve their intentions like anything else.

[az_shrimp_horny]

Huh. That's really well put, I never thought of it like that.

[weaver_of_lies]

You do not get to live as long as I do playing by arbitrary rules someone tells you to follow. You have to know when they have to be bent, and then when they must be broken.

[az_shrimp_horny]

Damn straight! Besides, life is pretty fucking boring if everyone just follows all the rules all the time.

[weaver_of_lies]

Rules can be stifling if the status quo allow themselves to stagnate, and that is a very easy thing to do when things are comfortable. I have never been one for feeling at ease in those circumstances, particularly when the new offers unforeseen possibilities.

[az_shrimp_horny]

I don't understand all of that but I'm pretty sure I agree.