12/26

[creepyoldguy]

 [It's the day after Christmas.  And there's a new face on camera, beaming at everyone from their mirrors.   A teenage girl!

...of sorts.  She's not winning any beauty pageants, that's a given.  She looks "off", for lack of a better term, but, for what she lacks in normalcy she makes up for in enthusiasm.]

HI GUYS!

[A cheerful "princess" wave.]

I am sooooooo happy to meet all of you!  I'm Betty!   I can't wait to be your new friend, TEE-HEE.

Tell me all the things!  Y'know gossip and shit....stuff. I mean.

[She tilted her head and let a messy ponytail flop to the side with the gesture, still smiling much, much, too broadly.]  

Comments

[creepyoldguy]

It's mostly in her hands. Exorcisms exist in her world too.

[A huff.]

But, if he tries to hurt her, I'm not sitting idly by. I'm a demon from hell. He's just a dead guy. In cosmic rock, paper, scissors, demon yeets dead guy.

[bigbadrose]

Yeah, I'm sure.

He's a poltergeist though. That trumps dead ghosts.

[creepyoldguy]

Ehhhh, mostly delusions of grandeur. And if I'm hearing things right he was probably working in the Netherworld which means he did a pretty big stupid when he was alive.

Beta-Babs fed him to a Sandworm, so, he's not exactly infallible. I fed my mom to one---I really want to meet Beta-Babs, she sounds hot---but, uh, that's not important.

Point is, I'm her favorite version of me.

[bigbadrose]

What.

Okay.

That's... sure. Okay.

[creepyoldguy]

[The attention span of a gerbil, coupled with several centuries of being invisible, made for some interesting conversations.]

And as favorite B-man, it's my duty to make sure other skeevy versions of me don't hurt my bffffs.

That could mean using Sandworms, exorcisms, or, yeeting them to Saturn.

[bigbadrose]

I like that last option, but like you said, she has final say in that.

[creepyoldguy]

Saturn is where the Sandworms live.

[He huffed again. Yes, he wanted Lydia to have the final say. But, his impulse control was almost non existent.]

Yeah.

[bigbadrose]

Yeah? Can't say I've ever been.

[creepyoldguy]

Not sure breathers can go there. It’s kinda like Limbo.

[bigbadrose]

You'd be amazed where I've been to.

[creepyoldguy]

I spent six centuries banished and invisible. I’m pretty easy to impress.

[bigbadrose]

[Giggles.] Shouldn't it be the other way around?

[creepyoldguy]

Nope. Alone, invisible, bored for centuries, stuck in the living world.

Hearing about going places and meeting people—I impress easily. Unless you've mostly just been to Trader Joe's and Pottery Barn....I mean...I do have some standards.

[bigbadrose]

I'm British. I've literally never been to either one of those. [Her mun all but lives in those two though...]

What did you even do with all that time? Lots of telly?

[creepyoldguy]

Tried to find someone to summon me. Saw some theater. Movies. Attended Juilliard.

[bigbadrose]

That sounds like fun! I never even finished my A-Levels. I tried to catch Mamma Mia like... three different universes though. Which is your favorite? Theater and movies.

[creepyoldguy]

[Beetlejuice hummed a bit.]

Hello, Dolly! and My Fair Lady are classics. Hate Brigadoon and The Music Man.

Movies, uh, I like horror, because, they’re generally hilarious. Like The Exorcist . Comedy gold.

[bigbadrose]

I love My Fair Lady! But with Julie Andrews, not Audrey Hepburn. I actually haven't seen Brigadoon or Music Man. But I managed to catch a bootleg copy of Hugh Jackman doing Oklahoma. Absolutely hilarious.

I usually try to skip the horror. Life is more terrifying, and all. The Doctor and I watched a lot of... that's funny, I can't remember now. [Disney, lawl.] But he's awful to watch anything historical or science-y with. He just wants to point out how they got everything wrong and then go visit it for real. So it's better to pick stuff he can't really do that with so well.

[creepyoldguy]

Ugh. Hugh Jackman. Don’t get me started on him.

[Beetlejuice grinned.]

That’s why horror is usually so funny. They don’t get anything right.

That and the effects.

[bigbadrose]

Oh?

Yeah, I knew you'd say that. Just like the Doctor. [Sticks her tongue out.] Well, without a conscience.

[creepyoldguy]

Which one? The older one? Or the less-sexy-Crowley one?

[bigbadrose]

[Oh Ten, please forgive her.] Actually I think the older one is sexier. [See? She really wasn't kidding about the deflating his ego, gosh!!!!]

But neither, when I first met him he was big ears and leather jacket. Anyway, that's the one that hung out haunting a movie theater for twenty-five years waiting for me. I mean, technically the other two did too since they're after him. But pinstripes -- the Crowley-one... [Spent six months sculpting her from memory. She should be WAY more gentle on him!]

[She bites a finger.]

[And shrugs hard.] It don't matter. The Doctor is the Doctor. He's not like you and me. There aren't other universe versions of him.

[creepyoldguy]

The older one was a lot less whiney. Less “I don’t wanna diiiieeeee”.

[He shrugged.]

Don’t care. He ain’t like me either.

[bigbadrose]

[Arm fold.] I prefer the not wanting to die too. [Especially now!!!!]

[creepyoldguy]

Seriously?!

[The demon face palmed.]

Even with the whining?