Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom

If that's the jungle expect big nasty bloodsucking ones.

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[She stopped walking for a moment- stared blankly at the mirror then crinkled her nose]

... It's not as if I need sleep. [The thought of blood made her feel uneasy as it was]

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It's not like you will be able to sleep if you are on'Team Horse' anyway. The Doctor will end up playing so called music at all hours of the day.

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That's the idiot with the grey hair- right? [There are so many of them it's hard to keep track]

I had a bad feeling he would be one of the more annoying additions...

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That's him. Well, spotted.

[ Though there were times when he liked the guy, one never said so. ]

Other than the horses and the bugs how is the mission going?

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It's practically going backwards.

[Maybe that wasn't fair]

It's going. Is anything interesting happening back on Main Street?

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[ He drew in a bored breath. ]

Not a thing. Even the train station has been quiet... not that I've really bothered paying attention to it, but I would have heard if a portal into darkness opened up or corroded suddenly stormed the streets.

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[Well that was a pity- in an odd way. It was probably better that things were so quiet, but if would have made this journey feel a little less time-consuming]

This world feels so tiny.... [Hel lamented thinking to herself about all the realms in her world and how expansive they were. It was like she was getting cabin fever here]

[Pausing for a moment she fixated on something off screen. then she turned the mirror towards it] What in Helheim is that? [This]

Edited Date: 2020-05-29 03:42 am (UTC)

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Huh??

[Crowley raised his glasses and squinted at the mirror.]

That a vine?? I'd steer clear of it.

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[This was far from illuminating]

If I knew that I wouldn't have asked. [Still, she gave it a wide birth] I wish we had something better to go on then an odd light.. or whatever it was.

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What do you want? I've never seen anything like it before. But it looks like you safely avoided it so... Who cares.

How do you feel about man-eating plants?

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[It was a fair point. Whatever it was was as disinterested in her as she was in it]

Wouldn't those have been eradicated when the corrosion was lifted?

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Unless they were never corroded in the first place. Might want to look out for them all the same.

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Great.

I could come all this way to end up as plant fertilizer. Is there anything else obnoxious that I should know about? [Although this was her second trip to the jungle, Hel didn't really have that much experience with it. It was too humid here so she hadn't frequented it]

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I'm not sure how many of the creepy crawlies might actually be native creatures. I have heard there are monkeys... They might steal your camping gear and run off if you aren't careful.

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With our luck? 90% of them.

If they even try it they will soon regret it.

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It sounds like you are off to an amazing start already. Have a good trip, Hel. And if your group runs into any trouble the second stringers have been getting things ready for rescues.

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[Crinkling her nose at that]

I shouldn't need a rescue personally- but if something happens to someone else- I can let the others know.

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Naturally.

Just keep your eyes on the Doctor. He is accident prone.

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They're big. The bugs, I mean, not the horses. I think they're about average. If you put out torches, the smoke should keep them away. Again: the bugs, not the horses.

[Michael's own group was nowhere to be seen around him, but Hel could hear chatter: a sure sign that he had chosen to take up the rear]

Be glad you aren't in the bayou where they're still corroded ...

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[That wasn't exactly what the Underworld Goddess wanted to hear. She had no affection for the creepy looking pests. It was one of the worst things about camping out.]

I think I would prefer corroded monsters to large blood-sucking insects. [A beat] Unless you combine the two into one.... is that what you meant? That the Bayou is filled with corroded insects? [Yeah, no thanks.]

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Near the water, it sure is. They itch like crazy. But honestly, most of the Corrosion in the jungle is gone, so the bugs ought to be the worst of it for you guys, right? ... Any sign of Dreamfinder yet?

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........ There is no reason for them to exist. [Sure, there were plenty of reasons why the world needed bugs but she wasn't willing to accept facts right now]

Who can say... [Presumably that would be correct. With the jungle purified this should be the least dangerous location] Nothing yet. We're just headed to the temple to get a better vantage point.

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Fun fact, when it comes to mosquitoes? That's actually true. They were originally a Bad Place torture that got invented, and some numbskull accidentally let some out while they were at the IHOP a few milennia ago, and ... oops. Let me tell you, he got retired RIGHT away.

[he glanced off to the side, where Mal and Sylvando were currently having a discussion as the rest of the team recovered from the first wave of drama]

At least you guys have a goal and you're all agreed on it. I feel like I'm in a really bad reality show right now.

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[Hel silently questioned what an IHOP even was, but she decided that it wasn't all that important to the story.] I always suspected. [Not that they were specifically from 'the bad place' but that they were not meant to exist] Is it really called 'the bad place' or is using it's real name some taboo?

[Noticing that Michael's attention was split she tried to peer past him to see what was going on. She couldn't really tell]

...... You know I only understand about every other word you say. [That wasn't true. The words she got save for one, but it was their combination she didn't get. Her dimension was set in a fantasy world, reality television wasn't really a thing] If that's who I think it is over there- I'm not surprised. I guess I was taking it for granted that although some of my teammates have some annoying qualities they are cooperative.

So... what's an IHOP, and what's a reality show? [Go on- enlighten her]

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That's okay, I get that from a lot of people. And yeah, it's really just called The Bad Place. It's universal, you know, people don't want to be there regardless of what their religion calls it.

[he gave a shrug] But an IHOP is a different thing for eternal beings than it is for humans. For them, it stands for International House of Pancakes, and it's a restaurant that only serves breakfast. For eternals, it's an International House of Portals, and it's where we go to move between dimensions if we have to. Very dangerous, though, the portals open up at random sometimes, and if you get sucked into one it usually spits you out, but not after you've usually seen the time-knife. Not a good trip, not recommended.

[a pause]

It also happens to serve really good breakfast and have the same design and layout as a human IHOP, so there's that.

And reality TV is the name they give a bunch of shows that are supposed to look like they're about a bunch of ridiculous people living their lives and just getting filmed, but it's actually all scripted to add more drama and in-fighting and hair-pulling. I just watched a really good one - which means a really bad one in this case - with tigers. The more ridiculous and stupid they are, the more fun they are to watch, but ... it's a lot less fun feeling like I'm in one.

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creepyoldguy

Hey, I'll eat any of the bigger bugs. And I can show you guys which ones pop like popcorn!

[Such a thoughtful demon!]

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[That was completely- 100% disgusting. ~~Also useful~~]

I'll pitch my tent near you.... but you can show the others that popping thing.

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creepyoldguy

[Useful demon is useful! And disgusting.]

Exploding food tastes better, it's science.

[He gave her a cheerful thumbs up.]

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