A Fiery Bouquet of Welcome

[serpentinthegarden]

Heard the meet and greet was a bust. Guess the citizens decided to share their gloomy mood with the newbies, typical of humans. When you're in a bad mood you always feel the need to spread it around.

Even Chef has got a dose of it. Usually the candy shop makes a whole spread of goodies for those banquets. This time he didn't even bother suggesting it. I finally tempted him into at least making a few gift baskets... 

[Crowley sneered and looked at one of the baskets.]

Not sure that's a good thing. He was laughing and singing a made up song about hot peppers when he made these.

But it's free right? How bad could they be? If you are new to the Kingdom stop by the candy shop on Main Street to pick up your free basket.

 

Comments

What? Totally innocent here!

[serpentinthegarden]

I could do better than that.

[ He smirked and looked to Chef who seemed ready to cause some more trouble himself. ]

We could do a new batch and looks nothing at all like this one. Different decorations, different box. They will never suspect a thing.

I meant filtered to, LOL

[strangeandunusual]

Perfect. Mal won't even see it coming.

[of all people, she knew he'd appreciate knowing the recipient of her prank]

Put little purple and green squiggles on them and she won't be able to resist.

LOL, ok :P

[serpentinthegarden]

It's for Mal!

[ See now he loved the idea even more. He had so many reasons to want to get that kid. ]

I'll make sure it's extra special. Hey, Chef! Ever heard of Carolina reaper? Hottest pepper in the world. Add a bit of a dragon theme, purple and green. I think its a perfect idea.

[strangeandunusual]

What can I say, I'm out of patience and this is something that won't hurt her long term but ... make me feel a little better. Maybe Beetlejuice is a bad influence.

[serpentinthegarden]

I don't know about him but it sounds like a brilliant idea to me.

[ Which means it was indeed a 'bad influence' sort of plan. ]

I'll have them ready for you in ten or so.

[strangeandunusual]

I should have kept her as a teapot longer. Next time you turn her into something I'll just let her ride it out.

... Thanks - to you and Chef. It's not much but when I'm there I can try to do a sort of anti-Corrosion thing to the shop in case anything tries to spread from the train station. I've been experimenting with some potions, and ... I think I finally found a way to get one to hold purification magic.

[serpentinthegarden]

She did make a very effective teapot with all that steam. What did she do to finally get under your skin?

[ He asked before relaying her message to Chef who actually seemed to brighten from the idea as he smiled at the screen and waved. ]

Chef thinks its a good idea. He has been worried about the Corrosion for a while now.

[strangeandunusual]

[even that single smile did wonders to convince Lydia that there was still hope. her own smile broadened.]

I'll come and put something at the doors, then. How about tonight after you close? That gives me a chance to rest up afterwards, since it'll probably take a decent amount of energy.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ Chef nodded and waggled a hot chili pepper at the mirror in a sign that he would be ready. ]

That's the high sign. We'll be waiting for you.

[ With the keenest anticipation! Mal had been asking for a counterprank for ages!

Oh and... the door thing was good too. ]

[strangeandunusual]

[at the appointed time, Lydia slid through the door, a bag slung over her shoulder. it clinked faintly, but the contents sounded as though they had made it safely along the journey.]

Hey. I have the stuff I promised for the doors. I'll pour it across the door threshholds, and it should only activate if anything Corroded that tries to cross the barrier - then it'll either be repelled or purified depending on how strong the magic is. Kind of like salt or garlic or iron.

[or holy water, she thought, but kept that one to herself]

[serpentinthegarden]

[ Yeah... when put that way it was something of a concern. The Chef was all for it and showed where her extra special box of flaming hot chocolates was sitting before dipping out the backdoor to head off for dinner but Crowley lingered near Lydia, eyeing her potions with new suspicion. ]

You've tried this out before?

[strangeandunusual]

On a smaller level. I used Tiffany. Put the cage in the bathroom, closed the bathroom door, doused the door perimeter, opened the bathroom and cage doors. She couldn't get past it and it uncursed her. So ... if nothing else it works on the small ones. Or it'll act as enough warning for Chef to get to safety.

[she frowned up at him a little, seeing that suspicion and coming close to crumbling under it. but ... but she'd tried. and it had worked. she could still hold on to the confidence that had given her]

I know, it's not a lot. I just started teaching myself Gross a few months ago. But ... it's better than nothing, and ... it's what I can do.

[serpentinthegarden]

[ The creepy doll he found in the back storage room of the Emporium. Oh, he remembered her! Not the sort of thing you really want to run into after naked werewolf running across the countryside. ]

I was more worried about how it took to demons. I know I'm not really one here but...

[ He shrugged. ]

There might be some lingering evil the magic spell would see as corrosion.

[strangeandunusual]

"Oh. ... If that's all ..." She glanced around. "... I could probably fix it right here, but it won't be pretty."

[serpentinthegarden]

He was going to regret asking this, he just knew it.

"Why won't it be pretty?"

[strangeandunusual]

"Gross magic has ... appropriate side effects. I kind of give off fairy tale hag vibes for a while. And it smells." She said it with that particular expression that toed the line between disgust and relish. "But it works..."

[serpentinthegarden]

Crowley sniffed, looked to Lydia, and then to her gross bottle... before hopping through the door so he could pace away safely into the fresh outside air.

"Alright then. Let it rip!"

[strangeandunusual]

She gave him an amused smile as she crouched down in the doorway. She didn't blame him for distancing himself: not only was Crowley himself painstakingly fastidious, but she hated to think of how Aziraphale would react if he came back to their apartment smelling like one of her concoctions. She could just picture his wings bristling, his curly hair practically straightening as those blue eyes widened, and hear the offending scoff. OH! CROWley. What in HEAVEN'S NAME did you get into? The poor demon would probably get purified quicker than Aziraphale could even snap his fingers.

She uncorked the potion bottle, and immediately a smell bloomed out that was so strong it came with visible browny-green vapor trails. Something like mushrooms, yellow Listerine, bleach, and ashes. The liquid came out in a sluggish, drooping stream, which made it easy to control as she poured an even line of it along the doorjamb like mud-colored puff paint. As she poured, she muttered softly, "Potion thick and full of spores, bar Corroded from these doors." A guttering yellow light flared up like a curtain as the last drop touched the opposite edge of the doorframe.

Thankfully, she'd already borne the brunt of most of the miasmic side effects in brewing the stuff, but her hair still grew scraggly and droopy, one of her pupils slowly floated askew, and her teeth turned green and a bit gap-y, as though she'd taken dental hygiene lessons from her favorite mood-ring-haired demon.

"That should work," she said. "Be honest: how bad is it?"

[serpentinthegarden]

That is precisely how it would have gone down and one of the best reasons to avoid having anything to do with gross magic. It was a hideously named style of magic for a start, upsetting to both caster and those who had to exist in their vicinity... especially when after using a spell you can out looking like the nastiest of stereotypical movie witches. All Lydia needed was a wart...

This was why he had never dabbled in it.

"Bad?" Crowley drew a breath in through his teeth and lied like a demon, "It's not bad, at all! No one will ever know the difference."

[strangeandunusual]

Lydia laughed softly. She appreciated the effort, but had a feeling the more quickly she got home and showered, the better.

"Thanks. ... I'm gonna go, but let me know how it works, okay? With any luck at all, you won't need it." She gave him a wave, flashing yellowed fingernails as she headed for the sidewalk.