Late on the 12th

[creepyoldguy]

[This is a fairly rare never before seen sight for anyone. Beetlejuice is fresh from the shower, looking utterly livid, his hair a dark shade of red. He's currently trying to get some sort of horrifying stain out of his jacket, in between giving utterly hateful looks to the mirror.]

When I get my hands on the person responsible for this compulsion, I'll make Hell look like a picnic on the boardwalk.

[That's really all the demon has to say for the moment.]

Comments

[creepyoldguy]

Enjoy life because it's short and important and shit. That's the point.

[Eye roll]

And c'mon. Of course they can touch stuff. You can be dead, accept it, and hang out as long as you want.

[serpentinthegarden]

Thats... Really not the message She is trying to send. I don't know what message She is actually trying to get across because She won't actually speak to anyone, but eat, drink, and be merry is totally a demon idea.

[creepyoldguy]

Really? Because the demons back home are all total sticks in the mud. Blah, blah, rules, blah, blah, guidebook, blah, blah, can't return from the Netherworld if you go there---

[serpentinthegarden]

For us there are rules, mostly about making sure you break most of them... except the rules that will get you in trouble with head office.

For humans we want them to be as bad as they can be. More tarnish on the soul that way.

[creepyoldguy]

...your universe sounds bizarre.

[Good grief that sounded like a crapton more work than Beetlejuice really wanted to put forward. Scaring people was so much more enjoyable.

Especially if you had a fantastic, honorary dead-girl, partner working with you.]

[serpentinthegarden]

My world sounds less bizarre than your world with your strange ectoplasmic side business...

[ Hmph, so there. ]

Light and Dark, humanity some where in-between, there's a balance to things back home.

[ Which he may not always have liked but could appreciate a little more now that he was away from it. ]

[creepyoldguy]

'Side business' nothing, that's my whole career!

[A small, proud, smile.]

There's supposed to be balance and rules and order back home. I think people need options.

Heck, I get pretty good Yelp reviews.

[serpentinthegarden]

People have options! Made sure of that back in the garden, didn't I? The whole free will thing was basically my idea. Eve wouldn't have gone for that apple without a friendly nudge.

Not really sure they need ghosts running around... They already had their chance. Feels like, double dipping.

[ Which hey, wouldn't be impossible to convince him off as demons live to break rules. ]

Those Yelp reviews though, wrote most of them yourself?

[creepyoldguy]

Uh, the ghosts don't need the breathers running around either.

[The most affronted look he can muster:]

Of course not! The very idea! Me writing most of my own reviews. Puh.

[He's written all of them.]

[serpentinthegarden]

You mean you actually did it legit!?

[ Now it was Crowley who looked affronted. ]

I never would have... Why go to all the trouble of getting real reviews when you can just make a dozen fakes ones?

[creepyoldguy]

That's what I was hoping you'd assume when I said it.

[Pleased grin.]

No, seriously, ghosts make lousy Yelpers. I have to write them for them. And they get taken down, like...a lot. But, hey! Five star reviews are five star reviews!

[serpentinthegarden]

You must be doing them wrong if they get taken down. So long as you sign in with a fake email address for each new account and space the reviews out so they don't all sound like one person wrote them in a day they never get found out and taken down.

[creepyoldguy]

Might be more of the fact the living can't see me. Usually. And my business has no address.

[serpentinthegarden]

You gotta get more creative! Swipe a photo of some one online, use a fake street address... These problems have really easy solutions.

[creepyoldguy]

Seems like an awful lotta work.

[Says a demon who likes to give ukulele/death-metal/swing concerts at funerals that no one can see.]

I'll probably just stick with possessing ghosts to give me good verbal reviews.

[His hair was slowly making its way back to green. Talking distracted him from his moods.]

[serpentinthegarden]

I think you would have to find a new profession while you are here anyway. Not maybe incorporeals around who actually don't want to rip us 'apprentices' apart.

[ Color changing hair though, that was odd. Length and cut sure, but color? Never thought of doing that. ]

[creepyoldguy]

Yeaaaah, and what is with that, anyway? Get summoned away from our homes because we seemed useful to a mirror and then in between training to do that we have to get jobs!

[He was still more incredulous than angry. Largely because Lydia was around.]

I hear something about them needing Tour Guides. I can probably do that.

[serpentinthegarden]

You as a tour guide?

[ This guy with the mood hair looked nothing like a tour guide to him but... hey, sounded like it could liven things up so why not? ]

Make sure to take the guests to meet the local celebrities, Hades, Merlin, Dreamkeeper... The earlier in the day the better.

[ Wake them up! ]

[creepyoldguy]

I help guide people after they croak, how different can it be?

[A slight pause as he answers his own question.]

...probably a lot less screaming and crying....soooo....that'll be a plus!


[A wide grin.]

Hell yeah! I'm up and working they're sure as hell not getting any rest! I'm thinking group sing-a-longs and souvenir scavenger hunts. Whatever makes the most noise.

[serpentinthegarden]

That depends entirely on where your tour leads... I think the jungle could still provoke some screaming and crying.

[ Hades room too but hey, that might be worth it! He'd like to see old flame head get his for once. ]

Have them sing something really obnoxious like... something from the Sound of Music.

[creepyoldguy]

If there's screaming, I want to be the one causing it.

OH. How about the Producers? Springtime for Hitler and Germany? It's annoying and makes people vaguely uncomfortable.

[serpentinthegarden]

It would have to be something everyone in your tour group knew the words to, but so long as it was annoying and sung at the loudest volume possible, it could work.

[creepyoldguy]

Aw, shiiiit, right. Can't just possess 'em.

[Distracted for a moment, he sniffed a stain on his lapel.]

Might have to go Harold Hill on 'em. Loud, mostly tuneless....loud.

[serpentinthegarden]

Or get a few song books. Most annoying hits of the stage musical. Some one has to have made one.

[creepyoldguy]

Caroling from Hell. Literally.

[He hoped he got accepted.]

I like it!