[video]

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[he stands in front of a window, winter light streaming in around him and highlighting his white wings. Clever people may notice he's added another ring, silver and black on the fourth finger of his left hand as he folds them in front of him and beams. More than his usual polite interest, his eyes are shining and he looks positively radiant and may, in fact, be glowing just a hair.

When he speaks, his voice is like warm honey]

Hello, I'd like to take the time to welcome all the newcomers to our lovely little situation. It may seem odd and even frightening to be so far from home. You may feel overwhelmed by the task ahead of you and that you may not be able to accomplish healing the corruption that has blighted this land. But I can assure you, it's possible. Some of it has already been cleansed and purified.

How, you may ask?

Why, through our efforts. As a unit. As a group. A team even. Everyone has value and worth here. We are all able to contribute. And there are many here who would help you and guide you to settling in. Finding your way. I'd call upon Lydia if you needed a ready mind and an open ear. Or Eleanor or Richie if you wanted someone to drink and commiserate with. Michael is always splendid to talk to. If there are any children among you, Webby [goodness, what a name] and Leia are wonderful playmates. [so he assumes]

And there are plenty of others here to help.

As for me, I am your local librarian. [his grin widens as this is very new and not even Crowley knows it yet] The selection here is rather small and limited at the moment,but feel free to come in and browse and check out [his wings twitch a little at that] at your leisure. But do see the books are returned in a timely manner. After all, I know where you live. [a smile as if it's a joke]

To that end, I am offering a slight commission for any one who can bring me a book that they find in the wilds or wherever. If you're interested, please take stock of what the library already offers. I'm not interested in copies of mundane things here, but other sorts of books. They don't necessarily have to be non-fiction, but any sort of spell work, spell craft or magic theory that you can find I will pay top dollar for. And also limited or first editions.

[he is not sure where he'll get the top dollar, but nevermind]

Aside from that, welcome to all who have come.

If you have any questions or wish to seek the personal attentions of the head librarian, my consultation hours are posted on the office door.

Comments

[blessedarethebookmakers]

Yes, well, drop by and I shall take a look at it. [he'd never thought of heaven or hell having instruction manuals, but it seems rather in keeping with both spheres, to be honest]

[creepyoldguy]

Okay. I'll be over with it. One less thing to lug around.

[Grin]

[blessedarethebookmakers]

I am looking forward to it. [said in the tone of professional politeness which suggests he may not in fact be as looking forward to it as much as is currently being stated]

(In Person!)

[creepyoldguy]

[Not too long later, (although, Beetlejuice is not the best judge of time) there'll be a disheveled, grimy, somewhat smelly, Netherworld demon at his door, holding a book in one hand.

At least he's cheerful?]

(glee)

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[dear lord! Not in his shop. Store. Library. A snap of the fingers and a touch of magic and at least the man smells clean anyway. As for the rest of him, well, Aziraphale reminds himself to look into some sort of cleaning service.]

Well, you're prompt. [ a faint smile] Set the book here and we'll see what it's about.

Re: (glee)

[creepyoldguy]

[Beetlejuice scowled slightly at the magical Fabrezing.]

Wow. Rude.

[Still, he set the book down, somehow managing to be as much in the angel's personal space as was possible, without even trying.]

There you go! One guidebook. No idea if only the dead can open it here, or if there's different rules. I can't really tell, because, I can open it anyway.

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[with that accent he's not honestly surprised at what he sees. He does put some space between them and give himself a little personal bubble which would rebuff the man from coming too close.]

Are you dead then? [he regards the book suspiciously, not even sure he wants to touch it.

Perhaps he may not have to]

If you would. [he gestures to the book]

[creepyoldguy]

Mm-hm. Born dead. I'm a demon. I'm also technically considered recently deceased, but, it's a long story.

[He shrugged and opened the book.]

Chapter One: All ghosts should proceed directly to the Netherworld. Same old guide, alright.

[blessedarethebookmakers]

Oh. [that would explain so very much. Though demons being born dead did rankle him, it was perhaps because he was of a lower order. Perhaps created out of the inferno itself. He would have to ask Crowley later.]

How fascinating.

[he pulls a pair of gloves from his pocket. ...and then after a moment's consideration another pair before reaching down and attempting to turn the page]

Does everyone get a guide regardless of where they go? [certainly they must, because he couldn't imagine Heaven giving out anything this grungy]

[creepyoldguy]

[ Beetlejuice shrugged.] Everyone goes to the same place: the Netherworld. My mom’s the demon in charge of processing everyone.

Or she was....uh....probably still is. I’d guess she’s reformed by now.

[blessedarethebookmakers]

The same place? [now he's perturbed] Saints and sinners alike? Murderers cheek by jowl with the innocent? [he can't believe it. It's a thought almost too terrible to bear.

But then, another thought]

Reformed? How?

[creepyoldguy]

Yep! The Great Equalizer!

[Beetlejuice bounced on his toes.]

Because, she was only eaten, not exorcised.

[blessedarethebookmakers]

No. It's absolutely horrid! What is the point of being good or evil if none of it matters. If you all end up in the same place? The entire...exercise of life is to better oneself.

[creepyoldguy]

Hey, that’s why I encourage the dead to stick around in the world of the living. One of the reasons.

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[the feathers on his pure white wings bristle]

Well what use would that be? They're dead! Their time is passed. There is no fixing anything once you've gone.

I'm certain that the Almighty wouldn't allow it. She couldn't. That is just too cruel.

[creepyoldguy]

Hey, different worlds, right?

And there’s nothing wrong with being dead and haunting your house. It’s still your stuff.

[blessedarethebookmakers]

The Almighty is the Almighty of all worlds. Nothing is beyond her ken. [that's just the way of it]

And who in the world cares about things when there is absolutely no reward. When there is no point. [he may be getting far more angry than he ought. He knows it but at the same time can't seem to stop himself]

[creepyoldguy]

Uh....you seem to be having a crisis, Mr. Librarian.

[He raised both eyebrows.]

Keeping your stuff is a reward.

1/2

[blessedarethebookmakers]

I am not having a crises!

[his wings flared wide and for a moment gold light appeared in his eyes and shimmered around his head.]

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[Then, somehow, he reigned himself in--

Because he reminded himself of one very important fact.]

Yes, well. Commendable work. [because this creature was, after all, a self proclaimed demon. Why believe his word about anything?]

I shall be taking this book. [he leaves some bills on the table] And this is what I am offering for it. Take it or leave it.

[and with that he turns on his heel and marches into his office to shut the door behind him -- a bit harder than he ought. He doesn't care whether the demon takes both the money and the book so long as he takes himself out of Aziraphale's sight]