(Video)

[deathisasalesman]

[Some time mid morning, all the mirrors flash and, should you happen to look at them you will see Hades standing in front of you.

Though...he seems a bit on the short side.

About three inches tall, as a matter of fact; standing on an upside down teacup as Merlin, Dreamfinder and Figment watch him from the background looking various shades of annoyed. Pain and Panic are on either side of him as cockroaches who seem desperately trying not to laugh.

The reason why is obvious, as, when Hades speaks, he sounds like a chipmunk]

To all you schmucks that helped out, we appreciate your services. Yada yada yada. The witches are gone and sealed away. No idea how they got out to begin with.

[this gets him the stink eye from the other two but he ignores them]

But thanks to you, the day is saved. Even if one of you idiots turned into a dragon beforehand and wrecked things. Yeesh. So the citizens? Kinnda a mixed bag. So try to be a little "Nicer" to them this month since, hey, you're living on their backs.

Dreamwhiner [Figment glowers at this ] Is fixing the portal thing so don't expect any fresh meat this month. Which is a good thing as you guys are pathetic enough as it is.

[Merlin clears his throat meaningfully and points a finger at the diminutive god, almost like a threat. Hades rolls his eyes and tries his best grin. It's a bit forced, almost as if crowbars are forcing his mouth open]

Point is, everything is more or less back to normal. Thank you and I'm s-- s-- PANIC [he snaps his fingers and the cockroach, now a teeny demon, hesitantly crawls up onto the tea cup and looks at the camera, knees shaking]

L-lord Hades apologizes for the inconvenience.

[Hades kicks him and he goes flying off the tea cup in flames, a small screaming meteor. Pain laughs and is suddenly flambéd too]

Any questions?

Comments

Video

[woo_oo]

Several, actually.

Fenton, with the book and the candles, you wanna expand on that?

Video

[deathisasalesman]

[a grin] Well what do you think happened, feather duster?

Video

[woo_oo]

That you sent Fenton to get those book and candles, knowing full-well they contained those witches, and intended to use those witches to do something bad. My first instinct is "taking over the world" - for some reason, bad guys love that. Personally I'd find it boring.

Video

[bigbadrose]

You're the reason they got free. Why?

[deathisasalesman]

That's gonna have to be a mystery, sweet cheeks.

[bigbadrose]

See now, [Looks at her nails in that bored Cassandra way!] You could have an actual ally on your hands. Someone who could talk down all the other apprentices who, frankly, didn't even want to rescue you and still kind of feel like you're dicking them over, and maybe they should go out of their way to make life a little more homey for you, if you get what I'm saying.

Honestly, I don't mind not wasting my effort. But if you want the slightest chance of anyone listening and respecting you again, you're going to have to give me a good reason, or I'm not going to bother dealing with all the dissent you're fomenting. You can have all the fun of it, just like being captured in a power crystal. Your choice.

Alternately, one teensy tiny sliver of reasoning beyond "I thought I could power myself up stronger than Merlin and Dreamfinder but it backfired," and I can talk down even Lydia, Fenton, and Atem whom you betrayed the worst, and work out from there. But again, I'm gonna need a compelling reason.

Or; have fun dealing with it solo. It worked so well for you already, right?

Video

[az_shrimp_horny]

That was the weakest fucking non-apology I've ever heard.

[deathisasalesman]

It's the only one you're going to get, too. Suck it up.

[az_shrimp_horny]

Suck this, fuck nut.

[She flips him off before cutting the feed. Someone's a little bitter.]

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[not_so_different]

[Missy claps, looking mildly amused.]

Very entertaining. So nice to see you cut down to size.

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[deathisasalesman]

Your turn is coming, Broomhilda.

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[not_so_different]

[She leans in, cupping a hand around her ear.]

I'm sorry? I didn't catch that. That was either a weak threat or an invitation of some sort. You'll have to speak up, it's a wonder anyone can hear you at all.

[strangeandunusual]

No questions, but as a Princess, I think I have my first royal decree.

[her voice drips ice]

Tell them the truth, or I will.

[and at this point she can summon bugs bigger than he is]

[deathisasalesman]

Oh look, Little Miss Makes A Deal. Not my fault you didn't read the fine print. You're in this as much as I am.

And I love to break it to you, you're not actually royalty. You can't actually 'order anyone around'. And even if you were? I outrank you.

But go on, tell whoever whatever. I owe it to you. None of this would have happened without you.

[bigbadrose]

Back off. Like it or not Hades, you need us. So save the pride and arrogance for when you can put it to real use.

And the only one who messed up, was you.

[strangeandunusual]

Then I will. You're not the first slippery jerk I've ever dealt with. Sorry to burst your bubble.

[his barb about it being her fault hits, but she doesn't flinch. yes, she made a mistake. yes, the egg was on her face. but she'd owned up to it, and been forgiven.]

Anyway, I've got something you don't, and at this rate, it's something you're never going to have, no matter how many people you outrank.

[king_of_egypt]

[Atem had been feeling off since this all transpired but seeing Hades seems to erase all that]

No idea, huh? [The sarcasm practically dripping off of his words.] It's one thing to make a mistake, it's quite another to deny your own involvement in it.

Tell me Hades, what was it you were really trying to achieve?

[deathisasalesman]

Not answerable to you. By the way, trash any good apartments lately? Asking for a friend.

[king_of_egypt]

[He'd wanted to ignore the dig, but an audible growl betrays that it got to him.] I have a right to know what we were being used for.

[beancounter]

Fenton found himself glaring furiously at the mirror. "You pulled us out of bed... out of a sound sleep, when you knew we'd be too tired and groggy to properly think straight! You played on our good will and desire to help for your own selfish needs, whatever they were!"

All the anger and frustration then just left Fenton like air out of a balloon, and he was just left tired and disappointed. "...and you don't even care, do you? You're not even sorry. This didn't hurt you. None of this meant anything to you. We're all just pawns to you." His frown deepened, and he shook his head. "You're as much of a bully as those witches. Nothing but a villain."

A super-villain, his mind provided for him. Like Negaduck and the Fearsome Five... only so much more powerful. A literal GOD, with much stronger magic than any of them had, who could pretty much do whatever he wanted to. He knew that there was no way he, or any other single Apprentice could do anything to him. Even as a team, like the Justice Ducks... Hades was so much more than anything they'd ever faced. He didn't like feeling helpless, useless, like this... but he also knew that there was really nothing he COULD do. Not alone. Not now. So he just frowned, disappointed, disgusted, disillusioned. He didn't want to see any more, he didn't want to hear any more... so he reached out and closed his mirror with a sigh.

Well, one thing was certain, out of all of this. He was NEVER listening to Hades, or blindly doing anything he asked ever again.

[deathisasalesman]

"Hey, justify it how you want. You had three days to change your mind. But you didn't. Don't act the wounded hero when you got sparks for your trouble. That's what you did it for."

But then there is a pause and he rolls his eyes, gesturing.

"Anyway, it's not like I planned this to happen. You think I'm spending all this time trying to repair this place only to have those furies destroy it? I thought we could, you know, it could be kind of like old times." That was the problem with nostalgia. It was always better in the past.

[originaldragoon]

That was pathetic.

[deathisasalesman]

Hey, leggy! Great job with that bonfire a couple weeks ago. Got the natives glowing with appreciation.

[video]

[princess_weia]

[The bitty Princess is clearly unimpressed by the non-apology, but is also not really surprised to learn that Hades apparently had something to do with the witches coming back.]

So... you decided to help bring back three super-evil witches who wanted lots of magic and power all for themselves, and you didn't think they'd turn on you and lock you up to use yours too?

[video]

[deathisasalesman]

[nope. Too small. Not even bothering to acknowledge your existence]