Mirror / all the swearing

[ace_of_hearts]

[Just in case things weren't bad enough already with the blood moon and Sanderson sisters, and kidnappings... Main Street erupts in a series of explosions. It turns out the sudden cold, rain, and blood moon with Ace's fire out of control, doesn't mix well with gross magic and booze mini-stills.]

Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck damn fuck sorry, don't-- [More explosions rocket off behind him.] Fuck.

I need... Shit I don't even know. Help maybe. I'd offer booze, but as you can see... [Winces as a high-pitched whistling shriek goes off and he frantically tries to get it to NOT EXPLODE.]

[....]

[...]

[Whew. At least one is safe. Maybe!!!] It doesn't like the weather. [It = Ace, actually. It's all Ace.]

Gross magic should be easier in a full moon, right? RIGHT?! Fuck everything.

Comments

[trashylittlesecret]

[HOLY FUCKING HELL THAT TICKLES. the toothpick legs wiggle and he kind of squirms, as much as a sandwich can. which isn't much]

Okay, that was kinky and kind of weird. And tickled. Let's not do that again.

[while he's a sandwich]

[ace_of_hearts]

[GIGGLES.] Tasty.

[trashylittlesecret]

[THANK GOD SANDWICHES DON'T BLUSH. though his bread might get a little toasty] Authentic enough? Jesus fucking Christ.

[ace_of_hearts]

[LAUGHS, and lightly tickles, before putting Richie in his pocket, but with it open so Richie can sort of see or maybe peek out.]

[trashylittlesecret]

Thanks. Just ... don't forget I'm in here and sit on me or anything.

[ace_of_hearts]

I won't! I'll get you somewhere safe even if a princess can't turn you back right away.

[trashylittlesecret]

My room should be pretty safe. Pretty sure if I manage to talk to my roommate first, she won't eat me. But let's try the royalty first, just in case.

[ace_of_hearts]

Kay!!

[trashylittlesecret]

[as they're going]

You know, where I come from, if you're in someone's pocket it's usually a bad thing.

[barest shades of either Groucho Marx or Alan Alda in there, somewhere, it's tough to tell through pants fabric]

[ace_of_hearts]

Really? In my world its a billiards reference. Means they're on your side,

[trashylittlesecret]

Huh! Maybe that's where the politicians got it from too. Because they always use it in politics. Means someone paid you enough money to only do stuff for them, and not rat on them for the shady shit they inevitably get up to, see, nyeah, see? ... man for this I really oughta be a meatball sub.

[ace_of_hearts]

You do have meatballs. They're tasty. But they're spread out.

I have no idea how normal world politics works where I'm from. That demon thing. Gramps might have tried to penetrate my thick skull with some of it, but punching doesn't actually impart knowledge. Who knew?

[trashylittlesecret]

Shit, seriously? That's fucked up, man. I'm sorry.

[he knew a thing or two about getting cuffed once in a while when someone in the house was in their cups, for sure, but ... education by fist, that sounded downright archaic, the sort of stuff that happened to people a generation earlier than his. 'boy ah'm gon' learn ya' kind of shit.]

I don't blame you for staying the hell out of it, then.

[ace_of_hearts]

Wellllllllllllll... it was going to get me killed sooner or later. It's how I died eventually.

Man this weather sucks, right?

[trashylittlesecret]

[that was a heck of a thing to unpack, Richie thought, then decided that he didn't want to deal with it, and just left the whole suitcase where it was.]

Yeah, seriously. I gotta say, this week's doing a whole lot to improve my view of the place.

[Sarcasm: Tool For The Ages]

[ace_of_hearts]

[Ace knew there was a reason he liked Richie!]

It's usually more boring!

Wait, is that a good thing?

[trashylittlesecret]

That it's more boring? Or that I was being totally sarcastic? In the same order: yes and yes.

[ace_of_hearts]

[More giggles :3]

Okay good!

Maybe you'll get lotsa material from this? Your opening line can be like "So the witches turned me into a sandwich, and I was like, hey when did everything get taller?!" [Or you know... don't take joke advice from Ace. Really don't.]

[trashylittlesecret]

YeeeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhI think that one might need to get workshopped a little, first, but, uhhhh. Good starter, bud. Good starter.

[ace_of_hearts]

That bad, huh?

Wellllll, good thing I'm a captain not a comedian. I'm a fighter not a lover. Wait.

[trashylittlesecret]

[he thinks of the graffiti on Eddie's cast] It can be both. Well, maybe not the captain and comedian part.

[ace_of_hearts]

My roommate's both!! He's a clown captain. His crew was mostly circus freaks. And they have a really cool lion that can jump through flaming hoops!

[trashylittlesecret]

[it's a good thing sandRiches don't actually have expressions beyond googly eyes. but he's still silent for a moment. ... guess if he ever gets brave enough to ask, they're not going back to Ace's room to fool around]

I'm ... not a big fan of clowns.

[ace_of_hearts]

Why not?

[trashylittlesecret]

[even as a sandwich, he shifts uncomfortably]

Because they scare the shit out of me is why. First because of a dumb movie I snuck into that I wasn't old enough to see, and then on a worse note, there was this kid-killing asshole demon where I'm from that liked looking like one. I crushed his heart in my bare fucking hands, I hated him that much.