Backdated to 10/28, before the attacks on PCs

[prodigalmess]

[ Malcolm comes on the mirror network looking as professional as he can without a suit. He really needs to start earning some money so he can up his wardrobe game here.

He clears his throat in order to get everyone's attention before he begins. ]

Hello. For those of you whom I haven't met yet, my name is Malcolm Bright. Back home, I work as a law enforcement officer who catches killers. The primary way that I do this is by analyzing crime scenes and victims in order to determine what we call a criminal profile. This profile helps to narrow suspects and catch the killer in a more timely manner. As such, I've been applying my skills to this case, and, after inspecting several crime scenes and victims, I'm ready to give my profile on the suspect that we're looking for in connection with the recent murders.

[ He stands tall, his hands moving while he speaks. ] I believe that our unknown subject is female. [ That alone is rare enough that he feels he must pause for a moment to let it sink in. ] She's white and young - early to mid-20s. All of the victims have been men of various ages. All of them have been decapitated by an axe. Our perpetrator draws them in with some kind of... ruse or flirtation, only to attack them.

[ As far as her motivation, Malcolm thinks it's entirely intrinsic. If she's working some kind of financial fraud, she's not waiting long enough or getting involved enough with the victim for the pay off, though Malcolm wouldn't be surprised if she were involved in some such scheme in the past. ]

I also believe that she has some kind of... supernatural strength. The cuts through the spine are clean, implying that she did them in one hit. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that it's not easy to decapitate someone.

Our suspect has an axe to grind... literally. This is her revenge after being wronged. The victim profile is men, seemingly of all ages and backgrounds. [ Malcolm is aware that he falls into that group. ] This doesn't mean that anyone who is not a man should rest easy. This woman should be considered armed and extremely dangerous.

[ He pauses to take a breath and let it out slowly. ]

I'm working to catch her before she takes any more lives, but in the meantime, keep your wits about you and don't go out alone, especially not after dark. If you have any information about these crimes, please contact me immediately. Any tip can help, no matter how small you might think it is. If you have questions, I'll be around for a little while.

[ He ends the feed and sits down at his desk to go through some of his files. ]

Comments

(Video)

[creepyoldguy]

She sounds hot.

[This is what Beetlejuice has taken from the warning.]

(Video)

[prodigalmess]

[ He shrugs. ]

I won't lie, there's a good chance she's attractive. It's how she draws her victims in.

Video

[phoenixwiz]

Oh great, I’m also Murder Bride Target too. What fun!

(Harry is understandably freaked out to learn that she could possibly haunt down teenage men like him too. Then he hears about her being wronged and exacting her revenge against men in general.)

I was wondering. Did someone stood up on her a long time ago? That could be a possibility.

Re: (Video)

[creepyoldguy]

And even if she had a face that could curdle milk? If she’s carrying an axe?

You tell her she’s gorgeous.

Oh! You know what kinda axe the dame is using?

A broad-axe. Heh. Get it? Because she’s a woman?

Video

[prodigalmess]

You could be. Just be very aware of your surroundings when you go out until we catch our suspect.

I believe that she was wronged by a man at some time. Whether that was a man she was in a romantic relationship with or a father figure is still unknown.

Video

[phoenixwiz]

You got a point there. I’ll remember that every time I finish working at the Emporium every night then.

Well, that is possible as well. I’m not dismissing any possible causes right now. If we do catch our axe killer, we can hopefully get her story from her soon enough.

(Video)

[prodigalmess]

[ Malcolm furrows his brow and smirks at the joke. Some people might not be comfortable with jokes at a time like this, but Malcolm has the typical gallows humor of a cop. Still, he tries to keep it professional. ]

Yeah, I certainly would not provoke her if you come across her.

Re: (Video)

[creepyoldguy]

Having been previously murdered by an angry teen, I’ll just steer clear of angry broads and their sharp objects.

Video

[prodigalmess]

I'd be interested to question her, of course. Female serial killers are exceedingly rare, especially of her type.

[ The type that seem to kill for enjoyment, not for financial gain. She's not the Angel of Mercy type either - people who intentionally kill others who are under their care. ]

Video

[phoenixwiz]

(It is highly possible that the axe killer reminds Harry a bit too much of Bellatrix effing Lestrange who is just crazy sadistic and psycho to the bone: the same woman who straight up killed his godfather/her cousin Sirius and sent his body down to the Veil.)

In any case, we all have to watch out and stay on alert for her every move. Do we need to carry weapons with us at all times?

Re: (Video)

[prodigalmess]

[ Have a slight raise of the eyebrow. ]

An angry teen killed you?

Re: (Video)

[creepyoldguy]

In fairness, I’d just extorted her into a green-card marriage and threatened to kill her dad, soooooo....

Kinda deserved it.

Video

[prodigalmess]

I don't think that's necessary. If you see any suspicious activity, contact me or the police immediately.

...Are there police here?

(Video)

[prodigalmess]

[ Allllrighty. ]

Part of me wants to know and part of me doesn't.

Re: (Video)

[creepyoldguy]

When the dead marry the living they become alive.

Video

[phoenixwiz]

Okay, got it. And sadly, no, I haven’t seen a police station in Main Street just yet. There are guards stationed on establishments, sure, just no police officers from what I can remember.

(Video)

[prodigalmess]

So it was a scheme, basically.

Re: (Video)

[creepyoldguy]

Not my best one, admittedly. I was gonna bail as soon as I was living, but, it was a little more overwhelming than I thought it’d be.

Kinda lost my mind.

Video

[prodigalmess]

[ He nods. ]

I've spoken with a few of the guards in connection with this case, but they didn't have much to add.

[ Nor did Malcolm think they would be helpful. They really are just guards, not investigators. ]

Video

[phoenixwiz]

Then I guess that we will have an eye on our axe killer around the clock. Thanks for the updates, Malcolm.

(Video)

[prodigalmess]

And was this teenager willing to marry you?

Not that a teenager can legally consent to that sort of thing.

Re: (Video)

[creepyoldguy]

Ehhhh.....blackmailed her into a yes. And it was strictly a green card thing, that much is kinda important. That’s just—-no.


Netherworld law is kind of it’s own thing. Can’t compare it to mortal law.

Video

[prodigalmess]

No problem. Be safe.

(Video)

[prodigalmess]

So, not great, overall.

Except if you have to marry a mortal to become a mortal, then you become subject to mortal law, don't you?

Re: (Video)

[creepyoldguy]

I didn’t live long enough to find out.

(Video)

[prodigalmess]

Death is one problem with being mortal.

Re: (Video)

[creepyoldguy]

Eh. I was born dead, I’m used to being dead.

[A shrug.]

Hearing birds and being happy was pretty great, can’t lie. The crash of being miserable right after was spectacularly bad, though. And being murdered by people who said they loved you a minute before, also bad.

(Video)

[prodigalmess]

There's no happiness or birds when you're dead?

Re: (Video)

[creepyoldguy]

It’s not the same. Not as...intense? I guess?

[Not many people bothered to ask him about the finer points of the whole being dead thing.]

And, nope, can’t hear the rats of the sky. Dunno why.

(Video)

[prodigalmess]

Hmm.

To clarify though, were you ever alive at one point before?

Re: (Video)

[creepyoldguy]

Before the green-card debacle?

No. I’m a demon, I was born dead.

(Video)

[prodigalmess]

That's what I thought. Was it a different feeling at all being alive?

Re: (Video)

[creepyoldguy]

[Beetlejuice shrugged and then nodded.]

Sure it was. Emotions were like a million times more intense. They're not as intense now, but, they're not as muted either.

(Video)

[prodigalmess]

I've wondered about death and what comes after, of course. [ He furrows his brow. ] I wonder if it's different for mortals than it is for demons.

Re: (Video)

[creepyoldguy]

Well. When breathers die, they typically get a copy of the Handbook for the Recently Deceased. They usually draw a door with some chalk, knock three times, and go to the Netherworld.

(Video)

[prodigalmess]

Huh. That's different than what most people in my culture are taught.

[ Not that he thinks Christianity necessarily has it right, but it's interesting to hear something different. ]

Also backdated, feel free to ignore

[ace_of_hearts]

Axe to grind! Nice! [Thumbs up!]