smk_network | Mirror / all the swearing

Entry tags:

ace d. portgas::one piece

Mirror / all the swearing

[Just in case things weren't bad enough already with the blood moon and Sanderson sisters, and kidnappings... Main Street erupts in a series of explosions. It turns out the sudden cold, rain, and blood moon with Ace's fire out of control, doesn't mix well with gross magic and booze mini-stills.]

Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck damn fuck sorry, don't-- [More explosions rocket off behind him.] Fuck.

I need... Shit I don't even know. Help maybe. I'd offer booze, but as you can see... [Winces as a high-pitched whistling shriek goes off and he frantically tries to get it to NOT EXPLODE.]

[....]

[...]

[Whew. At least one is safe. Maybe!!!] It doesn't like the weather. [It = Ace, actually. It's all Ace.]

Gross magic should be easier in a full moon, right? RIGHT?! Fuck everything.

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[he'd gone out looking for help, because Rose and Eleanor had both told him if he ever got turned into something again, a Princess could fix it. but walking on toothpick legs was even harder than mouse legs, and it was wet, and this was the most awkward thing ever.

so while the explosions are going off, he's just standing under a shop awning a couple buildings down from the apartments, out of the rain.

it's hard out here for a Manwich.]

Aw, dammit, is that the booze?

[Ace crouches down.]

[Ace stares.]

[And pokes the sandwich.] Am I hallucinating?

[He kind of wants to eat it anyway. Even if it's imaginary. Maybe he will get filled.]

[cross as fuck, which means he probably sounds like a mix of Eddie and Stan, not his usual self]

No, Ace. It's Richie. New guy. That witch turned me into a fucking sandwich. I swear to Christ every time I open my mouth someone's turning me into weird-ass shit.

[one of the pieces of meat flops a little like a tongue as he speaks. at this point he'd almost rather Pennywise, but maybe that's the mozzarella between his googly eyes talking]

Edited 2019-10-13 21:12 (UTC)

[This does nothing to curb Ace's desire to eat him.]

[Don't eat friends.]

[DON'T EAT FRIENDS!]

[Ace just drools.]

[It's hard being a demon.]

[But he doesn't want to be Big Mam.]

[Okay. He chugs some booze and holds the bottle to Richie...] Can you drink like this? I could like... pour it on you I guess.

What the fuck else did you get turned into?

[Nope, pokes the sandwich.]

[HOW MUCH WOULD A NIBBLE HURT?!?]

[Okay, fine, probably a lot. Don't eat friends.]

Better not. I have no idea what the fuck happens if part of me gets ... I don't know, dissolved or whatever. Coming out in the rain was a bad idea. You'll just have to drink a little more for me or save it for when I find - what was it? A Princess?

[those are some very rolly googly eyes, FOR REAL. what is his fucking life. and no, please do not eat friends]

Can you please desist?! Tie yourself up or something if you must! Things are quite bad enough! [he's already on edge and doesn't need any more of this]

Lydia and Mal are princesses, but if a witch did this, I don't think they're strong enough to change you back.

Here.

[Carefully scrambles together a safety lunch box for him, being surprisingly delicate with the toothpicks, but siiiighs.] Guess I shouldn't even lick you then. [UGH BUT HE NEEDS TO KNOW!!!]

[Okay into the pocket!] I will find one to ask. Oh wait! I'm dumb! [:T] Buggy's a prince..... I don't think he can turn you back but he could try? Or maybe I should find Mal... She has experience with dark magic. Buggy might fall apart.

Why did they turn you into a sandwich anyway? I mean... what does that do for them?

Hey! Fuck you!!! I wasn't doing anything! This is NOT my fault! I already had the stuff brewing, it's the god damn rain!

[he snorts] So you say, but if anything important is caught inthe explosion, we're going to have a talk. I can promise you, you won't enjoy it.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh like I'm so fucking scared! Bring it on bitch-boy! Let's fight each other instead of the kidnappers! That's really brilliant!

Of all the-- I most certainly won't fight you. Just don't talk to me when I'm cleaning up your mess tomorrow.

So don't clean it. I can do it myself. [Even though he asked for help...]

It is my job to repair the damage of thoughtless idiots. As if the corrosion wasn't ba enough [sniffs] But don't let it bother you. Lord knows I could use the practice if not the utter exhaustion that comes with it.