Mirror / all the swearing

[ace_of_hearts]

[Just in case things weren't bad enough already with the blood moon and Sanderson sisters, and kidnappings... Main Street erupts in a series of explosions. It turns out the sudden cold, rain, and blood moon with Ace's fire out of control, doesn't mix well with gross magic and booze mini-stills.]

Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck damn fuck sorry, don't-- [More explosions rocket off behind him.] Fuck.

I need... Shit I don't even know. Help maybe. I'd offer booze, but as you can see... [Winces as a high-pitched whistling shriek goes off and he frantically tries to get it to NOT EXPLODE.]

[....]

[...]

[Whew. At least one is safe. Maybe!!!] It doesn't like the weather. [It = Ace, actually. It's all Ace.]

Gross magic should be easier in a full moon, right? RIGHT?! Fuck everything.

Comments

Is that a manwhich in your pocket...

[not_so_different]

[She stops at the question, grinning broadly at Ace. Two very sharp fangs gleam in the moonlight. She'd been just about to respond when she hears another voice. Her head tilts a little. That second voice came from the vicinity of the half naked man's neather region.]

I'm certainly more okay than you are. Are your other body parts talking or do you just have one of those conjoined twins?

He's just happy to see you!!!

[ace_of_hearts]

No, that's my sandRich...

I mean friend, Richie, who got turned into a sandwich. So not much is okay for him, yeah.

Richie, there's a cheetah woman out here dancing in the rain.

[trashylittlesecret]

He's just seeing things from all the booze vapor in the air. I'm his dick. Heeeey, bay-bee.

[ace_of_hearts]

[GIGGLES LIKE A SCHOOLGIRL!!!] Yeah, that's right, I forgot my dick talks during Full Moons. Sorry about that.

[not_so_different]

[The voice sounds vaguely familiar... but she could also just be imagining things. The full moon is playing interesting tricks on her, after all. She tilts her head the other way, yellow eyes boring into the strange shirtless man.]

Am I expected to have a conversation with both you and your... member? That's terribly confusing.

[Something else explodes nearby, though she doesn't seem phased by it.]

[ace_of_hearts]

I mean... not if you don't want to? But he might speak on his own. I'm not good at controlling him. More like he does the thinking for me.

[ACE IS A FUCKING IDIOT CAN YOU TELL?]

[not_so_different]

Well that would explain a few things. Perhaps I should speak to the brains of the operation, then.

[She flashes fangs as she smirks, eyes drifting down to look at his crotch.]

[trashylittlesecret]

I mean, control? No. But you could definitely say sometimes he knows how to take matters into his own hands. Anyway, what can I do you for? We're a little busy with our big source of income exploding right now.

[ace_of_hearts]

[Double facepalms. Yeah he is bright red!!!]

I hadn't actually sold any yet... Do you know if there's any stripper jobs open? I might need one after this.

[not_so_different]

You're the one who stopped me, remember? I was simply enjoying the lovely explosions. It is a fine night for it, after all.

[You brought this on yourself, Ace. Her eyes flick between Ace's face and his crotch. Is it weird? A little. But she's been to enough planets to know that sometimes weird is normal.]

Stripper? No. Though with an act like this you're as likely to drive people screaming out the door as you are to make money in this town. Have you thought about a sideshow? Vaudeville, perhaps?

[ace_of_hearts]

Sorry, you're enjoying the explosions?

[And then giggles at the latter part, because it's totally a joke right? RIGHT!] That could be fun!

[trashylittlesecret]

Actually, he stopped you and I asked what we could do you for, it was kind of a -

[you know what never mind]

- you know, Ace, maybe she's right about the Vaudeville thing.

[not_so_different]

Yes, I am enjoying the explosions. They're quite lovely, after all.

[Her eyes flicked back to his nether region.]

It would certainly be quite a show.

[ace_of_hearts]

[Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd... Ace just blushes. Why did he let Richie claim to be his dick again??? Oh right, because being a sandwich could be dangerous and scary and okay he's a good friend!]

I mean... if you like explosions, stick with me, and you'll never get bored.