Mirror / all the swearing

[ace_of_hearts]

[Just in case things weren't bad enough already with the blood moon and Sanderson sisters, and kidnappings... Main Street erupts in a series of explosions. It turns out the sudden cold, rain, and blood moon with Ace's fire out of control, doesn't mix well with gross magic and booze mini-stills.]

Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck damn fuck sorry, don't-- [More explosions rocket off behind him.] Fuck.

I need... Shit I don't even know. Help maybe. I'd offer booze, but as you can see... [Winces as a high-pitched whistling shriek goes off and he frantically tries to get it to NOT EXPLODE.]

[....]

[...]

[Whew. At least one is safe. Maybe!!!] It doesn't like the weather. [It = Ace, actually. It's all Ace.]

Gross magic should be easier in a full moon, right? RIGHT?! Fuck everything.

Comments

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[he has good reflexes and leaps out of the way. But not without a snort and a few droppings in his wake. What a rude orange]

[ace_of_hearts]

[Well, now he's ticked.]

Don't shit on my hat, you stupid bat! [Attempts to beat up on it with his hat.]

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[you have to be faster than that! He has wings and he is quite good at using them. Here and there and everywhere. And another drop for good measure]

[ace_of_hearts]

[Ace casually lights the turd on fire, and his eyes gleam with inner rage.] All right, you asked for it, flying meatball!!!

[Azi, now is a good time to run, because Ace is about to go full fire pillar here.]

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[he bolts! Zigzagging on the ground and finding somewhere to hide]

[ace_of_hearts]

[Wise little rabbit. FWOOOOOSH goes the air above and around Ace, and as he starts to let it cool down...]

What?! Where's my flying sausage?! [Even burnt to a crisp, he was gonna eat its innards.]

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[that is quite a lot of fire.

But that doesn't stop this not at all sausage from creeping back in the dark behind him and taking a chomp out of his calf before bounding away]

[ace_of_hearts]

[Growls, kicks, and aims way more fire! Fuck you rabbit turd!]

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[zips away again, but gets his wingtips singed for his audacity and finds himself some place to hide for keepsies]

[trashylittlesecret]

[muffled pocket commentary]

What the everloving fuck are you even going on about out there, dude?

[ace_of_hearts]

A batrabbit shat on my hat!!!

[trashylittlesecret]

That sounds like the lost volumes of Doctor Seuss. Is there a cat in spats sitting on a vat, too?

[ace_of_hearts]

Who's Doctor Suess?

[Although now that he thinks about it, it is kind of weird and funny.] Yeah! Maybe! [Alas he's no good at rhymes. Ask Ivy or Rose for that.]

[trashylittlesecret]

Wrote a lot of kids books full of words that rhyme and don't make any sense. Like The Cat in the Hat and Fox in Socks and a bunch of bullshit like that. It's supposed to help you learn how to read because a lot of the words have the same letters and sounds or whatever, but when you're a kid you don't give a shit about that, it's just funny to say stuff like "I am Sam. Sam I Am. Do you like green eggs and ham?"

Speaking of, what kind of sandwich am I? It's kinda hard to see myself.

[ace_of_hearts]

Sounds nice. Not too many people care about kids reading in my world. I never even went to school, but Sabo said I didn't miss anything.

Delicious. I mean... Open mouthed with everything.

[trashylittlesecret]

Yeah, not much. I mean the reading bit is kind of important, but that's kind of about it. Everything else you can just sorta bullshit around. At least, it's easy enough to do where I'm from. Everyone acts like they didn't learn a goddamn thing, anyway.

[at the description, he snort-laughs. which is interesting for a sandwich to manage] ... Well at least they kept me true to my nature.

[ace_of_hearts]

So you're normally delicious?

[trashylittlesecret]

[you've actually flustered him, Ace, good job]

I - uh - well uh - couldn't tell ya. The open-mouthed about everything part, though, that's pretty much a ringer.

[ace_of_hearts]

I guess you're pretty mouthy, huh?

[trashylittlesecret]

Friends didn't call me Trashmouth for nothing.

[ace_of_hearts]

My friends called me all kinds of dumb things too! Fire-Fist is my bounty name, but they called me like freckle-butt and things too.

[trashylittlesecret]

Freckle butt?

[this guy is an adorable dumbass. please. someone send help. he has a feeling he is going to need it.]

Bounty na- oh! Oh, because you're a pirate, I get it. For a second I thought that was like a stripper name or something. Mostly because I've heard of strippers named Bounty.

... I don't have eyebrows to waggle or I'd totally be doing that right now. Fuck, I hate being a sandwich.

[ace_of_hearts]

Yeah.

[THE MOST!]

I could be a stripper. Is that a job option here? Usually I get told Fire Fist sounds like a porn star's name anyway.

[trashylittlesecret]

A really bad porn star, maybe. OUCH.

[uncomfortable sandwich shifting]

[ace_of_hearts]

[More giggles!] Yeah, especially if I fell asleep in the middle. I wouldn't while stripping though!