at "your friend with the shrimp", he thinks about Eleanor for a bit. he knows exactly how Eleanor did things. he knows everything about her. he also is pretty sure that rebounds are not in Chidi's ethical dictionary, so he's got no idea if her policies would have even changed on that. but why is he even thinking about that? Eleanor is almost, possibly, actually back with her walking sweater vest, and his plan worked. .... which he isn't ecstatic about, and that doesn't make sense. he doesn't like finding out things don't make sense, because when they are human type things, they tend to hurt to figure out. like Janet and Jason. or the concept of death. or failure. he makes a conscious decision not to think about it.
instead, he tunes out to eat his cupcake and gets lost flipping his shirt over how delicious it is, and then wondering why it's called devil's chocolate, and then how she made the paperclip...
... and she's getting louder. they tend to get louder when they're upset. he yanks himself back away from cupcake land to Upset Human Woman World and adapts his best I've Been Listening This Whole Time face.]
So you've got that sorted out? Good. Because frankly, Rose, you're kind of a hot mess. But not as much as Derek.
See, Janets aren't supposed to fall in love, but mine evolved so much that she did, with Jason.
[HE KNOWS, RIGHT?]
Only, something went wrong with the Neighborhood, and I had to wipe their memories and start over. Jason ended up with Tahani, and Janet was starting to glitch, causing earthquakes and random object impermanence, the works.
[his hands flutter demonstratively as he talks]
I figured out that it was because she was lying about being happy for them - it violates a Janet's basic programming - and Eleanor said that if she had a rebound it might make it easier for her to not think about Jason... But there were only two humans, so ... Janet made one. Derek.
[he breathes in, long and slow, the sort of universal signal for "how can I be nice about this", then decides, fork it, she'll laugh]
He was an absolute imbecile with only the vague suggestion of a brain. And wind chimes for genitals.
no subject
at "your friend with the shrimp", he thinks about Eleanor for a bit. he knows exactly how Eleanor did things. he knows everything about her. he also is pretty sure that rebounds are not in Chidi's ethical dictionary, so he's got no idea if her policies would have even changed on that. but why is he even thinking about that? Eleanor is almost, possibly, actually back with her walking sweater vest, and his plan worked. .... which he isn't ecstatic about, and that doesn't make sense. he doesn't like finding out things don't make sense, because when they are human type things, they tend to hurt to figure out. like Janet and Jason. or the concept of death. or failure. he makes a conscious decision not to think about it.
instead, he tunes out to eat his cupcake and gets lost flipping his shirt over how delicious it is, and then wondering why it's called devil's chocolate, and then how she made the paperclip...
... and she's getting louder. they tend to get louder when they're upset. he yanks himself back away from cupcake land to Upset Human Woman World and adapts his best I've Been Listening This Whole Time face.]
So you've got that sorted out? Good. Because frankly, Rose, you're kind of a hot mess. But not as much as Derek.
See, Janets aren't supposed to fall in love, but mine evolved so much that she did, with Jason.
[HE KNOWS, RIGHT?]
Only, something went wrong with the Neighborhood, and I had to wipe their memories and start over. Jason ended up with Tahani, and Janet was starting to glitch, causing earthquakes and random object impermanence, the works.
[his hands flutter demonstratively as he talks]
I figured out that it was because she was lying about being happy for them - it violates a Janet's basic programming - and Eleanor said that if she had a rebound it might make it easier for her to not think about Jason... But there were only two humans, so ... Janet made one. Derek.
[he breathes in, long and slow, the sort of universal signal for "how can I be nice about this", then decides, fork it, she'll laugh]
He was an absolute imbecile with only the vague suggestion of a brain. And wind chimes for genitals.