Mirror / all the swearing

[ace_of_hearts]

[Just in case things weren't bad enough already with the blood moon and Sanderson sisters, and kidnappings... Main Street erupts in a series of explosions. It turns out the sudden cold, rain, and blood moon with Ace's fire out of control, doesn't mix well with gross magic and booze mini-stills.]

Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck damn fuck sorry, don't-- [More explosions rocket off behind him.] Fuck.

I need... Shit I don't even know. Help maybe. I'd offer booze, but as you can see... [Winces as a high-pitched whistling shriek goes off and he frantically tries to get it to NOT EXPLODE.]

[....]

[...]

[Whew. At least one is safe. Maybe!!!] It doesn't like the weather. [It = Ace, actually. It's all Ace.]

Gross magic should be easier in a full moon, right? RIGHT?! Fuck everything.

Comments

[trashylittlesecret]

[you've actually flustered him, Ace, good job]

I - uh - well uh - couldn't tell ya. The open-mouthed about everything part, though, that's pretty much a ringer.

[ace_of_hearts]

I guess you're pretty mouthy, huh?

[trashylittlesecret]

Friends didn't call me Trashmouth for nothing.

[ace_of_hearts]

My friends called me all kinds of dumb things too! Fire-Fist is my bounty name, but they called me like freckle-butt and things too.

[trashylittlesecret]

Freckle butt?

[this guy is an adorable dumbass. please. someone send help. he has a feeling he is going to need it.]

Bounty na- oh! Oh, because you're a pirate, I get it. For a second I thought that was like a stripper name or something. Mostly because I've heard of strippers named Bounty.

... I don't have eyebrows to waggle or I'd totally be doing that right now. Fuck, I hate being a sandwich.

[ace_of_hearts]

Yeah.

[THE MOST!]

I could be a stripper. Is that a job option here? Usually I get told Fire Fist sounds like a porn star's name anyway.

[trashylittlesecret]

A really bad porn star, maybe. OUCH.

[uncomfortable sandwich shifting]

[ace_of_hearts]

[More giggles!] Yeah, especially if I fell asleep in the middle. I wouldn't while stripping though!

we should probably warn people they're making jokes about porn huh

[trashylittlesecret]

Not quite where I was going with that joke, but sure, why the hell not. ... Why would you fall asleep in the middle of a porn? I mean, it'd have to be preeeeetty bad, am I right?

[they're just two guys talking about maybe being in a theoretical porn. this isn't gay at all. he's fiiiiiine]

oops lol :V

[ace_of_hearts]

Yeah! Well, I'm narcoleptic. Usually I just surprise people with it, but I don't want you thinking I fall asleep during bad sex or something. [Awkward note.] No worries though! I can't sleep when it's full moon!! And I can't stay awake during new moons.

yeah sorry guys we'll be better next time

[trashylittlesecret]

No shit. I never met anyone who was actually narcoleptic before.

[and then he makes that crack about bad sex and]

Why would I care if you fall asleep banging somebody? I mean - it's your life, right?

[the words are innocuous enough. but there's a little panic in there]

I promise nothing!!!! 1/2

[ace_of_hearts]

It runs in my family. My Gramps and kid brother are the same way.

Well, you'd care if it was you, right?

2/2

[ace_of_hearts]

Not that you want me to bang you or vice versa, but word gets around in tiny places like this.

It's fine if people know I'm a narcoleptic demon, and hate rain, but I already have a weird reputation from the no-shirts thing, no need to make it extra stupid besides!

better about the warnings, not about the porn ofc

[trashylittlesecret]

[ah, the 'no homo' clause has been laid out. we're good, we're good.]

Just make it a better reputation by being the guy with the good booze. That oughta fix it right up. Always did back home. Example: "JaaaaaaayZUS that boy ain't right but can he throw a humdinga of a shindig, ayuh."

again! I promise nothing!!! I tend to forget what's iffy oops

[ace_of_hearts]

[Laughs!]

Yeah, that's about what they said about me during my life!