Mirror / all the swearing

[ace_of_hearts]

[Just in case things weren't bad enough already with the blood moon and Sanderson sisters, and kidnappings... Main Street erupts in a series of explosions. It turns out the sudden cold, rain, and blood moon with Ace's fire out of control, doesn't mix well with gross magic and booze mini-stills.]

Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck damn fuck sorry, don't-- [More explosions rocket off behind him.] Fuck.

I need... Shit I don't even know. Help maybe. I'd offer booze, but as you can see... [Winces as a high-pitched whistling shriek goes off and he frantically tries to get it to NOT EXPLODE.]

[....]

[...]

[Whew. At least one is safe. Maybe!!!] It doesn't like the weather. [It = Ace, actually. It's all Ace.]

Gross magic should be easier in a full moon, right? RIGHT?! Fuck everything.

Comments

[unladenswallow]

Did you change the recipe or something? It didn't do that before, right?

[ace_of_hearts]

No, it's the rain! And the moon. And the witches.

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[a little bit later in the evening a large black white winged rabbit swoops out of nowhere and attacks his hat, which looks ever so much like an orange. Chomping into it with vampire sharp fangs and sucking does not produce the desired effect]

[ace_of_hearts]

[Ace just instantly tries to punch the bat(???????) and maybe toast it with fire. YAY FOOD! Stupid food too, so he doesn't even have to feel bad about eating it. Natural selection etc.]

[unladenswallow]

( she flattened her expression slightly. the witches seemed to have bigger things on their minds than booze... )

Have you tried shielding the bottles with something to block out both the rain and the moon?

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[he has good reflexes and leaps out of the way. But not without a snort and a few droppings in his wake. What a rude orange]

[ace_of_hearts]

[They turned his friend into a sandwich! Anything's possible!!!]

What?

Like... an umbrella?

[ace_of_hearts]

[Well, now he's ticked.]

Don't shit on my hat, you stupid bat! [Attempts to beat up on it with his hat.]

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[you have to be faster than that! He has wings and he is quite good at using them. Here and there and everywhere. And another drop for good measure]

[unladenswallow]

( okay, fair enough )

I was thinking more a roof but sure, an umbrella.

[trashylittlesecret]

Hey, watch it with the toothpicks, that -

[ever heard a sandwich giggle? you have now. he's ticklish on the bottom of the bun, okay]

I don't know who any of those people are, but if they can help make me look less like a blue plate special, I'm all for it. Except for maybe the guy who might fall apart, that sounds kinda bad and like you mean it literally.

[as for why he's a sandwich]

Clearly you fuckin' missed the part about them saying they wanted to either eat us or enslave us. Gold star. Then again, if all your shit started exploding around the same time I guess that makes sense.

[ace_of_hearts]

[Lineface.] I guess indoors would be better but I don't have anywhere to put it all.

[ace_of_hearts]

[Ace casually lights the turd on fire, and his eyes gleam with inner rage.] All right, you asked for it, flying meatball!!!

[Azi, now is a good time to run, because Ace is about to go full fire pillar here.]

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[he bolts! Zigzagging on the ground and finding somewhere to hide]

[ace_of_hearts]

[Wise little rabbit. FWOOOOOSH goes the air above and around Ace, and as he starts to let it cool down...]

What?! Where's my flying sausage?! [Even burnt to a crisp, he was gonna eat its innards.]

[unladenswallow]

Do you just store it outside? What if someone steals your drink?

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[that is quite a lot of fire.

But that doesn't stop this not at all sausage from creeping back in the dark behind him and taking a chomp out of his calf before bounding away]

[ace_of_hearts]

They can't, it doesn't finish until I finish it. Gross magic.

[ace_of_hearts]

[Growls, kicks, and aims way more fire! Fuck you rabbit turd!]

[blessedarethebookmakers]

[zips away again, but gets his wingtips singed for his audacity and finds himself some place to hide for keepsies]

[unladenswallow]

Hn? What, they can't touch the bottles until you finish with them? ( gross magic means nothing to this newbie :x )

[ace_of_hearts]

I don't even put it into the bottles until I finish.

[unladenswallow]

Oh. ( duh. ) A- Anyway, are you going to be alright being around all that exploding shit? Maybe you can find somewhere with an awning you can borrow until the moon passes.

[Action]

[serpentinthegarden]

[ A very large snake came slithering through the flames like they were nothing more than tall grass. ]

Antichrist and all... but do you think you might hold off helping those Witches end the world?

[ace_of_hearts]

I'm made of fire, explosions don't hurt me.