Video

[woo_oo]

[Webby appears... upside-down? No, adjusting your mirror-phone won't fix it, she's actually like that - she's practicing headstands, and had turned it on so she could talk.]

Hi everyone! I heard we got a bunch of newbies, so if we haven't met, I'm Webby Vanderquack! I've been here a while, so I figured it's time I really took advantage of all the different people here. See, one day, I'm going to be the best adventurer - slash - spy - slash - explorer, and to do that I need to know absolutely everything about everything!

Plus, I like learning stuff. It's fun!

[Now she begins trying to balance on one hand, then goes back to the other hand.]

Back home, just being with my friends taught me all kinds of things! Dewey taught me about sledding, Huey taught me about the Junior Woodchucks, Louie taught me how con free juice, and Lena taught me how to take no prisoners in a pillow fight.

So what I'm asking is, what do you think you can teach me? I'll take lessons on anything! Weaponry, martial arts, cooking, sewing, photography, hacking, fashion, basket-weaving, lion-taming - uh-oh - WHOA - 

[In the middle of her list, she lost her balance and fell over right onto her side. Oof.]

... how to identify a concussion...

Comments

[trashylittlesecret]

Hey, you bet.

[either way, she was catching on. or he was. ONE of them was from someone's perspective, and that had to be worth something]

You wanna hit up the arcade later? I feel like pushing some buttons, and that's always more fun with company.

[woo_oo]

[Here, she hesitates.]

I dunno... the last time I was in an arcade back home, I broke a machine. And got me and my friends banned. And then we got unbanned after we got kidnapped and held hostage by the Beagle Boys using the arcade as a cover.

[This is canon.]

... And then here, I got hypnotized by a witch and lured into the arcade, but Missy helped snap me out of it and we destroyed a bunch of stuff to stop the witch.

[Happened a few months ago.]

... Basically, I'm warning you that I'm bad luck when it comes to arcades.

[trashylittlesecret]

[it was such good canon too]

Well, the last time I was in an arcade, I got hit with a memory truck that wasn't exactly carrying the best cargo. And I could stand to make some better memories. I bet you could too.

So what say we break your luck streak? If it really ends up going butt-over-bandbox, I'll owe you dessert.

[woo_oo]

[Aw, he always knows the right things to say. Consider her cheered up.]

In that case... meet you there ASAP?

[trashylittlesecret]

Be there or be square!

[and he's true to his word, showing up in a winter bomber jacket over his usual patterned button-down shirt. but - look closely, Webby. yes. those are tyrannosauruses all over it. he wore the dinosaur shirt just for you.

he's also holding up a pink-and-purple fanny pack that's sagging suspiciously as though it may or may not already be full of tokens.]

Yo, Buckets. Let's do this. You ever play skee-ball?

[woo_oo]

[What a nerd. No wonder they get along so well.

She happily bounces on up to him.]

Just once at Funzo's. I broke it. I think I was a little "too intense", as Louie put it.

[trashylittlesecret]

Well, lock and load.

[he hands her the pack]

I just so happen to have plenty of experience with skee ball and can teach you both restraint and finesse. Never know when a perfect, controlled throw might come in handy: say, like, in a rock fight?

[yes, Webby. yes. welcome to rock fight training with Sensei Tozier.]

[woo_oo]

[If he starts doing Wax On, Wax Off references, expect her to be completely confused.]

That's true! And rocks are so versatile as weaponry, depending on where you find them!

[trashylittlesecret]

[nah he's more likely to burst into Kung Fu Fighting or something lame like that]

Yeah sure. Let's go with that.

[let's face it, he's basically what Louie will be like in about thirty years, minus the mile-wide streak of greed]

So, skee-ball is totally about accuracy. Once you get your accuracy down, theeeeen you start worrying about putting the muscle behind it.

[woo_oo]

[She takes a ball and begins tossing it up and down.]

You want me to prioritize aiming over strength? I can do that!

[trashylittlesecret]

"While we're in the arcade, I mean - yeah," he clarified. "When we're in the jungle or whatever you can throw stuff as hard as you want, but inside? Probably best not to. Fun as it is."

He gave her a wink that betrayed him as really just being an oversized kid when you got right down to it, and bellied up to a skee-ball lane, feeding it the requisite token and grinning at the rewarding sound of the balls rolling down and thunking into place.

"Ready?"

[woo_oo]

"Okay... light toss... here I go!"

Unfortunately, Webby's definition of 'light' doesn't exactly match up with everyone else's. So when she pitches the ball, there is a CRASH, and a THUD, and a burning hole where the ball went.

At least she was near the target?

[trashylittlesecret]

"Holy shit." Richie stared in amazement at the hole she'd created. "You call that light?!"

He leaned forward and examined it as the smoke around the hole in the back of the skee-ball machine cleared.

"Looks like you got a 30, though. Not bad."

[woo_oo]

"Oh, good! I'll try again!" Oblivious to the trouble she was causing, Webby eagerly grabbed another ball...

[trashylittlesecret]

"AAHH-da-da-dah!" He reached out and caught her arm, gently, before she could throw. He pursed his lips, trying to decide how to put it delicately.

"The goal is to get a 50 ... or a 40, a 30, a 20, a 10, a gutterball even ... without putting a hole in the wall. .... We call that finesse."

[woo_oo]

"A gutterball?" That sounded much more interesting than a regular collection of points!

"How do I get one of those?"

[trashylittlesecret]

Cripes, sometimes she was too much. He laughed and pointed to the two long dips in the sides of the ramp.

"Those are gutters. If you completely whiff the shot and get it in there, or miss the score holes entirely and it just drops down? That's a gutterball. It's kind of the worst shot you can make."

[woo_oo]

"I wanna whiff!" That sounded like such a fun idea!

Oddly enough, this was how to make her throw like a normal, or at least weak, person - she gave the ball a gentle toss.

[trashylittlesecret]

... Well, whatever worked, he supposed, raising his eyebrows. The ball rolled neatly up the center of the ramp and dipped down into the return.

"Hey, nice work! ... Now see if you can get it in the left gutter. We can work on aim."